Poor Man's Bouquet

-noun

1. The act of a man scooping up his penis and testicles from beneath with his hand into something vaguely resembling a fleshy bouquet of flowers. Best accomplished after a long, hot shower for maximum effect.

2. Also known as the "PMB."

1. "It was Valentine's Day and Bruce was a little low on cash; wisely he opted out of buying some cheesy flowers. Bruce knocked on his girlfriends door and presented her with a magnificent Poor Man's Bouquet."

2. "Look at that hot chick across the bar... I'm thinking about taking her back to my place and showing her the PMB."

by Spineripper18 March 12, 2011

poor man's std test

A cheap way to find out what you may or may not have caught from having sex, comprised of having unprotected sex with a girl, then calling her a week later and telling her that your ex girlfriend called and said she tested positive for HIV. The fear caused by this little white lie will incite said girl to go get checked out. Within a week she will call you and let you know what you have or don't have.

Guy 1: "Man. I really wish I had health insurance."

Guy 2: "Why?"

Guy 1: "I've been with so many whores lately, I'd be surprised if I didn't have something, and I can't afford to go to the doctor to get checked out."

Guy 2: "Well now you can thanks to the Poor Man's STD Test!"

by nacko420 July 5, 2010

Poor man's layaway

The crafty art of hiding an item you want (but cannot afford to buy) in a carefully chosen place somewhere within the store to ensure the item will be there when you're able to return with the money. A way for someone with inadequate or no money to "reserve" an item for themselves at a later date. Anyone who's ever been poor has done this at least once in their life. Also known as "squirrelling".

Joe: "Ma sent me out to the drug store for her tampons yesterday, and that's when I found the cd I've been looking for, but it was the last one in the store. After the tampons, there wasn't even enough left for a damn Coke, that stingy, bloody-twatted bitch!!"

Jack: So, what happened?

Joe: I wanted to steal it, but you know, the whole "3 strikes" thing. So I found a spot in the store to put it on poor man's layaway until next Friday, when I get paid.

by CactusHeart January 17, 2012

poor man's crack

Adding extra nicotine to a cigarette in order to get a high similar to meth or crack. This is very dangerous and nobody should do it. Ever. Of course meth and crack are both very dangerous anyway, as is smoking, so nobody should do those things either.

Joey was using poor man's crack, so after he got done tripping balls he had to go to the emergency room for his chronic dumbassitude and dicketry.

by cbubbles40 June 19, 2011

Poor Man's Jacuzzi

When you and your girlfriend are in the bathtub, and she is laying back on you. Then you fart real loud letting the bubbles go up her back.

My girlfriends sore back felt much better after the poor man's jacuzzi I gave her to sooth it.

by Sick Mike August 16, 2009

Poor Man's Speedball

Smoking marijuana and drinking caffeine at the same time.

(Pot and caffeine vs. heroin and cocaine in a real speedball.)

This poor man's speedball is just what I needed to clear this hangover.

by Chick Henry September 22, 2008

Poor Man Shower

When you stick your head under the tap because you don't have time for a shower.

Man #1: You don't have time to shower, you're gonna be late for your wedding
Man #2: Start the car, I'm gonna take a poor man shower

by JustFred August 8, 2014