petrified grape

A Raisin

Guy 1: Is that a petrified grape?

Guy 2: No, it's raisin.

Guy 1: Wait, isn't that the same thing. Guy 2: No.

by Dysfunctional.Asian August 15, 2017

petrified sock

(n.) A white tube sock that serves as a jizz recepticle following masturbation. After a series of loads have been deposited in the sock, the protein stains will harden, thus beginning the "petrification" process. Also see protein sock

1. My petrified sock has been the recipient of so many loads, it is now brown and can now stand up by itself.

by Shockey86 January 31, 2005

Petrified Tree

When, during intercourse, the penis becomes numb due to under stimulation. The male equivalent of Zombie Beaver. Useful for Cock-Slapping, Cock-stands, Tripod-ing, etc.

Janet was so begrudgingly wide that I got the good 'ol Petrified Tree. After that, I charmingly berated her, and cock-slapped her with my rock-solid Mahogany Staff.

by Phydeaux The Grate August 10, 2009

petrified

alcohol intoxicated(another way of saying stoned (out))

That car was swerving so much, the driver had to be petrified.

by Light Joker March 14, 2005

Petrified Seman

Seman on a peice of clothing or towel that has dried up and is now crusted on to said objects.

I just found an old sock that is covered in petrified seman.

by Contazz March 6, 2010

petrified

adj. stoned so often that acute effects on thought are outwardly noticeable.

little bitch is petrified, no wonder he get no love.

by observer of the obvious November 17, 2003

petrified wood

a boner or erection lasting for many hours

Lauren throught it was strange that Stephen's petrified wood wasn't going away.

by k blau July 23, 2006