Witticism at its whittiest.
Pun:
There was a marine biologist, named Dr. Panglos, who loved dolphins. (When I say he loved dolphins though, I’m not talking about in any kind of “sick” way; he just loved to study them). He spent his time trying to feed and protect his beloved creatures of the sea. One day, in a fit of inventive genius, he came up with a serum that would make dolphins live forever!
Of course he was ecstatic. But he soon realised that, in order to mass produce this serum, he would need large amounts of a certain compound that was only found in nature in the metabolism of a rare South American myna bird. Carried away by his love for dolphins, however, he decided that he would go to the zoo and steal one of these birds.
As he was arriving at the zoo an elderly lion was escaping from its cage. The Lion’s name was Leo, which wasn’t too original of a name for a lion if you ask me, but it’s probably not important to the story. Anyway, the zoo keepers were alarmed and immediately began combing the zoo for the escaped animal, unaware that it had simply lain down on the sidewalk and had gone to sleep since it was the Lion’s regular naptime anyway.
Meanwhile, the marine biologist arrived at the zoo and stole his bird. He was so excited by the prospect of helping his dolphins that he stepped absent mindedly over the sleeping lion on his way back to his car. Immediately, 15 policemen converged on him and arrested him for the crime of transporting a myna across a staid lion for immortal porpoises
There was a marine biologist, named Dr. Panglos, who loved dolphins. (When I say he loved dolphins though, I’m not talking about in any kind of “sick” way; he just loved to study them). He spent his time trying to feed and protect his beloved creatures of the sea. One day, in a fit of inventive genius, he came up with a serum that would make dolphins live forever!
Of course he was ecstatic. But he soon realised that, in order to mass produce this serum, he would need large amounts of a certain compound that was only found in nature in the metabolism of a rare South American myna bird. Carried away by his love for dolphins, however, he decided that he would go to the zoo and steal one of these birds.
As he was arriving at the zoo an elderly lion was escaping from its cage. The Lion’s name was Leo, which wasn’t too original of a name for a lion if you ask me, but it’s probably not important to the story. Anyway, the zoo keepers were alarmed and immediately began combing the zoo for the escaped animal, unaware that it had simply lain down on the sidewalk and had gone to sleep since it was the Lion’s regular naptime anyway.
Meanwhile, the marine biologist arrived at the zoo and stole his bird. He was so excited by the prospect of helping his dolphins that he stepped absent mindedly over the sleeping lion on his way back to his car. Immediately, 15 policemen converged on him and arrested him for the crime of transporting a myna across a staid lion for immortal porpoises
by WhatWhereVagina October 19, 2017
Get the Pun mug.Person 1: How come I only have $20 in my wallet?
Person 2: Probably because you spent it on useless crap.
Person 1: Now that makes 'CENTS'
Person 2 : That was terrible! You need a PUNishment for that
Person 2: Probably because you spent it on useless crap.
Person 1: Now that makes 'CENTS'
Person 2 : That was terrible! You need a PUNishment for that
by chicken pen15 July 9, 2016
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A noun used to represent a form of play-on-word that dwells on taking advantage of similar sounding words or different definitions/implications of a certain word or phrase, generally used for comic relief, or to express your own cleverness and distaste of others' sanity. Not to be confused with double entendre. A well crafted pun requires both flow of pronunciation and well-layered meanings.
by Robophant December 5, 2015
Get the pun mug.Really Clever Kid:"Hey, you wanna hear a pun?"
Really Hot Girl:"Yeah, sure!"
Really Clever Kid: "What do you call a girl living in the Playboy Mansion of Czechoslovakia?"
Really Hot Girl: "I.D.K. What?!??!!?"
Really Clever Kid: "A checkmate!"
Really Hot Girl: "LOL!!!!!! Lets have sex..."
Really Hot Girl:"Yeah, sure!"
Really Clever Kid: "What do you call a girl living in the Playboy Mansion of Czechoslovakia?"
Really Hot Girl: "I.D.K. What?!??!!?"
Really Clever Kid: "A checkmate!"
Really Hot Girl: "LOL!!!!!! Lets have sex..."
by Forty Two January 18, 2008
Get the pun mug.A play on words. Generally a pun takes a word that is quite understandable in context and replaces it with a homonym (same-sounding word) to create an entirely new meaning, or replaces a word with a similar-sounding one to the same effect.
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A pun involving a word with two possible meanings --
Nurse, to young woman about to receive a vaccination:
"You're going to feel a little prick."
Woman: "It wouldn't be the first time."
* * *
A pun that uses a similar-sounding term to the expected one, to humorous effect --
A one-liner: "JFK's private life was so sexy they should have called his administration Cum-A-Lot."
.
Nurse, to young woman about to receive a vaccination:
"You're going to feel a little prick."
Woman: "It wouldn't be the first time."
* * *
A pun that uses a similar-sounding term to the expected one, to humorous effect --
A one-liner: "JFK's private life was so sexy they should have called his administration Cum-A-Lot."
.
by al-in-chgo March 13, 2010
Get the pun mug.Dropping an unintentional pun at the worst time.
When your neighbours wife has an affair while he's at work. And he gets suspicious and decides to ask you:
When your neighbours wife has an affair while he's at work. And he gets suspicious and decides to ask you:
"Have you seen any cars visit my house when I'm at work?"
Me- "sorry, I'd rather not get involved in your "affairs"....sorry pun unintended"
Me- "sorry, I'd rather not get involved in your "affairs"....sorry pun unintended"
by Lost Marbles May 2, 2021
Get the Pun mug.1. A joke, usually a play on words involving either a homonym, or a phrase that rhymes with the original quote.
2. A very, very, VERY low form of humor, and often makes everyone within a ten mile radius sigh and pinch their eyes together.
These jokes will likely get you killed, the best case scenario is that someone laughs, simply because the joke is so bad/stupid, that said person cannot help but laugh, then tell you to get the out of the room.
2. A very, very, VERY low form of humor, and often makes everyone within a ten mile radius sigh and pinch their eyes together.
These jokes will likely get you killed, the best case scenario is that someone laughs, simply because the joke is so bad/stupid, that said person cannot help but laugh, then tell you to get the out of the room.
by adminkiller December 3, 2010
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