A-S-A-P-T-S-D

A subset of the psychological diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome (P.T.S.D.) caused specifically by corporate culture’s unrelenting need for every fucking thing to be delivered “as soon as possible” (A.S.A.P.), without any fucking regard to what is reasonable, thus creating a withering climate of perpetual panic & psychological breakdown.

VP Marketing: “Where the fuck are my product renders.”
Art director: “Dave is working on that. He is on no sleep & his 7th coffee this morning. We are on it.”
VP Marketing: “I asked for them two days ago & I present in Paris in Wednesday. I NEED those hero shots now!”

Art Director: “I understand, & you will get them today. Phil needed the packaging colors addressed & bumped the renders - sorry.”
VP Marketing: “I don’t care about packaging. Let me talk to Dave. If you can’t manage your team, I will.”
Art Director: “Dude - Dave is this close to serious A-S-A-P-T-S-D, and is threatening to quit. Let me handle this.”

by Heisenbeast - Lord of Hounds March 29, 2019

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P.T.S.D

The Acronym for "Pretty Thick and Strong Dick": The type of disorder for which she'll thinking about for a long time.

Woman: I have been stressing out a lot lately, anymore and I think I might turn into such a mess.

Doctor: Hmm, that does seem like a serious problem but I think I have the best solution for you.

Woman: What do you have in mind, doctor?

Doctor: How about you take some of this P.T.S.D and it'll take your mind off of your personal dilemmas.

Woman: What's P.T.S.D?

Doctor: "Pretty Thick and Strong Dick" now let's operate straight into that uterus.

by ghjkjmsm July 21, 2012

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