Mathurbation

The art of discussing ideas in way so as to spend maximum time, while achieving minimal result. It is also used when people try and use intelligent sounding words to conceal their low knowledge levels about an unknown subject.

Mathurbation - My boss mathurbated with me for an hour today
I need a cigarette after 2 hours of mathurbation

by beingmathur March 11, 2017

METSturbate

The intense, pleasureful and often sexually satisfying experience that all Mets have during Baseball's offseason. During this period any move the Mets make is regarded as the "Perfect Fit" and Mets fans drool at the idea that the team might finish better than .500. This is, of course, never the case.

John: Hey Rick, do you want to go see a movie later?
Rick: I can't, Mike and I are going to METSturbate together over Michael Cuddyer.

by Jayzee123 November 15, 2014

matturbate

To build up a sizable lead in a single game (or in the regular season standings) only to blow your offensive "load" prior to an actual recorded victory or championship.

"Matty Ice" a.k.a. "The Mattural" matturbated in the first half of the 2013 NFC Championship game against the San Francisco 49ers.

by Sherman Gepard January 21, 2013

Methsturbate

The act of masturbating while high on methamphetamine.

Methsturbate — the act of beating meat for hours, or even days on end while zapped, zoinked, and zooted.

by Dr. Numbutt Sphincterstein May 16, 2019

matherbater

Someone who likes to do math alone.

What’s Mike thinking about? He’s Home alone doing math equations in his head. He’s a matherbater

by Big Daddu Mike May 16, 2020

mathurbating

Mathurbating- the act of creating math problems for ones self to solve for sexual pleasure

Dick: dude ted's mom walked in on him mathurbating

by Solid5nake98 November 12, 2013

Menturbate

To mentally masturbate. The most discrete form of sexual self-pleasuring. With a good imagination and a bit of practice menturation can result in actual orgasm.

I especially like to menturbate on public transport. As long as I can keep a straight face the girl sitting next to me doesn’t even notice.

by Harry Sausage January 26, 2005