joelinton

A goat known to men and football alike. His record of 7 goals (and counting)in 81 games is unparalleled in world football. There has been no man more leng or beautiful to ever exist and it’s been known that millions of women and men support Newcastle just to catch a glimpse of his masculine presence. He is the epitome of male “sexiness”.

I want to be like Joelinton when I grow up.

by Goatlinton November 29, 2021

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Joelinton

The greatest footballer ever known to man kind, who also possesses the greatest comeback of a career in world history. He was transferred over to Newcastle from Hoffenheim for £40 million to play BruceBall. As proven by many of the other players used by Steve Bruce, Steve didn’t know how to use him properly. He used Joelinton in the number 9 position, when at Hoffenheim he was used on the wing. Unsurprisingly, he was shocking. With many people thinking he found his level after scoring against Rochdale in the FA Cup. However, soon after, in October 2021, Newcastle United was taken over by the Public Investment Fund (80%), the Rueben Brothers (10%), and Amanda Staveley (10%). After one game, they sacked Steve Bruce and soon after hired Eddie Howe. This is a man who, in the words of Steve Bruce, ‘Got Bournemouth relegated’. While he was severely underfunded. The took over a year out to study managers elsewhere and came back ready. He took over Newcastle when they were 19th with no wins in 14 games and finished that season in 11th. In late December, Newcastle played Manchester United. This was the first game where Joelinton was used as a midfielder. He dropped a masterclass and nutmegged Marcus Rashford. This sky rocketed his confidence and has since then became a staple in Newcastles midfield, even with the likes of Bruno Guimaraes and Sandro Tonali.

‘Joelinton has dropped another masterclass’

‘When doesn’t he?’

by JoelintonLover August 13, 2023

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joelstal

The process of going postal, but only due to the fact you are named Joel. if you are named Joel, and go postal, you go Joelstal. Normally, going postal is bad, but when you go Joelstal its mildly entertaining because its like watching flies have sex with shit. After they have been smashed in the head with a stubby and they have been beaten senseless by a Tibetan Monk who thinks that flies deserve to die. Essentially, when a Joelstal is encountered, you do not have to fear for your life, as no weapons will be used, because they would require skill, instead, merely point and laugh, because everyone thinks Joelstals are funny.

that guy has gone fucking Joelstal!!!

by honneamise October 23, 2018

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