Reading or hearing something one does not understand and dismissing it as useless, calling it "philosophy" as an insult, then falling for every media pronouncement and logical fallacy as being profound or meaningful.
Ayn: To love is to value.
Sam: Huh? You mean you have to pay for it? Philosophy sucks! That's just intellectual masturbation.
Nan: We have to pass the bill to find out what's in it.
Sam: Makes sense to me. That's deep.
Sam: Huh? You mean you have to pay for it? Philosophy sucks! That's just intellectual masturbation.
Nan: We have to pass the bill to find out what's in it.
Sam: Makes sense to me. That's deep.
by Patriot-X April 25, 2010
He went on and on about how many uses he had for an avacado and a water pik, but we didn't want to hear about that intellectual masturbation
by Bur Seliu June 08, 2006
Straining your thinking processes repeatedly until you hopefully find resolution in the form of an intellectual orgasm.
Wacking off theory after theory until you come to a head with a solution.
Wacking off theory after theory until you come to a head with a solution.
I've been working on this problem continually for some time, and my intellectual masturbation has finally led to resolution.
Jane: Did you get your homework finished?
Dick: I spent last night engaged in intellectual masturbation til I finally was satisfied. It really drained me.
Jane: Did you get your homework finished?
Dick: I spent last night engaged in intellectual masturbation til I finally was satisfied. It really drained me.
by peckerwould April 25, 2010
Word used by stupid, narrow minded and superficial people to describe things that they cannot possibly understand.
Billy: The Socratic Dialogues about Good and Justice are the product of intellectual masturbation.
Bob: But philosophy has put the basis of lawmaking and it's believed to be the mother of science, why do you use this derogatory term?
Billy: Uhh, whatever dude! I have more interesting things to do than listening to your bs! w00t! I am going to eat some salami and masturbate on some amateur porn! w00t!
Bob: But philosophy has put the basis of lawmaking and it's believed to be the mother of science, why do you use this derogatory term?
Billy: Uhh, whatever dude! I have more interesting things to do than listening to your bs! w00t! I am going to eat some salami and masturbate on some amateur porn! w00t!
by intdes April 25, 2010
Talking about important subjects rationally and objectively and making perfect sense but not taking action towards helping the situations.
Examples of Intellectual Masturbation: Saying things like "If all the rich people in the world gave X % of their money, a lot of world problems would be solved." , or "The money that goes into American Idol could save millions of lives." without doing anything about the issues.
by JohnSmith532452452 September 07, 2015
How to do intellectual masturbation:
1. Idolize theory, even though reality doesn't necessary go along with the theory
2. Find people who are agreed with your point of view (groupthink, filter bubble, echo chamber), and shut down any competing point of view
3. Nurture a superiority complex, that you're an Übermensch, you're far more intellectual than 99.9999999999…% hoo-mans around the world, and dwell inside your ivory tower instead of helping people out from their problems
4. Use any unnecessary words, terms, jargons, acronyms, backronyms, or any language styles that makes you sound intellectual (even though nobody asked)
5. Interrupt and change any discussion topic to become something intellectual when nobody asked
6. Justify unnecessary paywall for accessing knowledge
7. Put other's feet on your own shoes (a.k.a give them unsolicited advices based on your understanding and experiences, ignoring other's experiences)
8. Read any books that makes you look intellectual, even though you don't understand what do you read, and quote it every time you discussing, even though you don't know what are you talking about
1. Idolize theory, even though reality doesn't necessary go along with the theory
2. Find people who are agreed with your point of view (groupthink, filter bubble, echo chamber), and shut down any competing point of view
3. Nurture a superiority complex, that you're an Übermensch, you're far more intellectual than 99.9999999999…% hoo-mans around the world, and dwell inside your ivory tower instead of helping people out from their problems
4. Use any unnecessary words, terms, jargons, acronyms, backronyms, or any language styles that makes you sound intellectual (even though nobody asked)
5. Interrupt and change any discussion topic to become something intellectual when nobody asked
6. Justify unnecessary paywall for accessing knowledge
7. Put other's feet on your own shoes (a.k.a give them unsolicited advices based on your understanding and experiences, ignoring other's experiences)
8. Read any books that makes you look intellectual, even though you don't understand what do you read, and quote it every time you discussing, even though you don't know what are you talking about
by Sir. B April 10, 2021
The act of thinking, discussing, and/or philosophizing to no one’s spiritual, mental, or physical benefit, but purely for the sake of one’s own pleasure, intellectual self-satisfaction, and/or pride.
Note: Not all intellectual and philosophical discussion is intellectual masturbation, it only falls under the definition when it doesn’t benefit those in engaged in it, only harms due to wasted time and an artificial satisfaction in one’s self.
Note: Not all intellectual and philosophical discussion is intellectual masturbation, it only falls under the definition when it doesn’t benefit those in engaged in it, only harms due to wasted time and an artificial satisfaction in one’s self.
I remember when all I would do was engage in intellectual masturbation on Discord. I would use fancy words and blabber all day about philosophy, without actually applying it in any way whatsoever. I just derived pleasure from hearing myself speak about such abstract and complex subjects. What a fool I was.
by Tea76Crumpets796 October 01, 2022