Houston Astros

It is possible to survive another postseason while being the assholes of the league, giving that your best effort is all you owe yourselves.

The Houston Astros owe nobody an apology, a title, or anything else. Stand and take the punishment, then move past it.

by Solid Mantis February 13, 2020

Houston Astros

A cheating team who used trash cans and joe Kelly is they’re daddy

I stan joe Kelly for what he did against the Houston Astros

by Lil tecca ft. Juice WRLD October 7, 2020

Houston Astros

The game was thrown, but not by the Houston Astros.

The Houston Astros didn't rig the system, but some people do rig it with their machinations.

by The Original Agahnim October 12, 2021

Houston Astros

You notice that teams that haven't been losing against the Yankees much that year get investigated, but when was the last time anybody investigated the Yankees? LA is the same way, other teams either go along with the LA teams program or theres an investigation.

The Houston Astros and the Red Sox, teams that had been giving the Yankees trouble in the past few years are the teams that got investigated it turns out, which seems to be what happens when the Yankees don't win a title that year. The same time winning every year isnt interesting, some people root for the team that's going to keep a season interesting over impressive stats and a winning record.

by Solid Mantis September 11, 2020

Houston Astros

Underachieving choke artist team that can't win when it counts.

The Houston Astros have been swept again in the playoffs!

The Houston Astros have failed to win late in the regular season and have been eliminated from any playoff hope

by Hang me now and save me from the torture September 22, 2003

Houston Astros

Shitty ass team that cheats in order to win. Everett never tagged Molina at 2nd base and knew he didn't but agreed with the umpire's call. Fuck you Everett. I hope your balls get chewed off by an elephant. I'm glad you lost to the White Sox and want to assure you that you'll never get to the World Series again.

I hate the Houston Astros.

by fuckhouston December 28, 2005

Houston Astros

The Houston Astros are a Major League Baseball team based in Houston, Texas. They are in the American League West Division but were previously in the National League Central Division.

Founded: 1962 (National League expansion)
Formerly known as: Houston Colt .45s (1962-1964). The team changed its name to the Astros when it began playing in the Astrodome in 1965.
Home ballpark: Minute Maid Park, Houston (formerly known as Astros Field and Enron Field)
Former ballparks: Colt Stadium, Houston Astrodome
Uniform colors: Orange and blue
Logo design: Orange star with a white H on the cap and the word "Astros" on the jersey in a block font

(Note: All achievements before 2012 were in the National League, all achievements 2013 and later were in the American League)
Wild Card titles won (4): 2004, 2005, 2015, 2020
Division titles won (13): 1980, 1981, 1986, 1997, 1998, 1999, 2001, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2021, 2022, 2023
Pennants won (5): 2005, 2017, 2019, 2021, 2022
World Series championships won (2): 2017, 2022
Retired numbers: 5, 7, 24, 25, 32, 33, 34, 40, 49, 42
Hall of Fame inductees: Craig Biggio, Jeff Bagwell, Nolan Ryan, Joe Morgan, Randy Johnson, Iván Rodríguez, Don Sutton, Nellie Fox, Leo Durocher, Eddie Mathews, Robin Roberts
Main Rivals: Los Angeles Dodgers, New York Yankees, Texas Rangers, Atlanta Braves, Washington Nationals
Historical Rivalries: St. Louis Cardinals, Chicago Cubs
(This is an updated version of the definition made by CubbiesSwallow in 2005)

The Houston Astros own the New York Yankees in the playoffs!

by CJP64 February 20, 2024