The act of performing an utterly meaningless task given to you solely to keep you out of the way. The name comes from an episode of The Simpsons in which Homer, and two others, are tasked with guarding a bee in a jar in the plant's basement while the Nuclear Regulatory Inspector is visiting.
Bernie: Duh, why are we down here?
Homer: Aw, geez. I told you Bernie, guarding the bee!
Bernie: But WHY?!
Homer: Aw, you guys are pathetic. No wonder Smithers made me head bee-guy.
Homer: Aw, geez. I told you Bernie, guarding the bee!
Bernie: But WHY?!
Homer: Aw, you guys are pathetic. No wonder Smithers made me head bee-guy.
by Astrolounge April 7, 2009
Get the guarding the bee mug.To be forced to sleep on the couch.
An old technique used by married couples as a means of punishment.
An old technique used by married couples as a means of punishment.
by Robert Michael Hensel April 12, 2008
Get the Couch guarding mug.Related Words
Dude Nick thanks for helping me hook up Kaitlyn. You are so good at cock guiding. You are so not Bennett.
No problem Erik.
No problem Erik.
by Scotty and Nick January 2, 2008
Get the cock guiding mug.e.g. Dad walks in on son playing video game night before book report is due:
"Wow, you're really guarding Epstein with this book report, aren't you?"
"Wow, you're really guarding Epstein with this book report, aren't you?"
by Darko May August 13, 2019
Get the guarding Epstein mug.Motor boating a female or females for an extended period of time. Usually after hours and with women who have large breasts.
Dude, I was Coast Guarding last night with those chicks from the party. I wish I had a life preserver...
by EdwinNoses November 5, 2012
Get the Coast Guarding mug.1.) Defending, through acts of aggressive trolling, the internet websites and facebook pages where an inordinately large number of conspiracy theorists and other wackos make comments like, "U suck an yor sight is a peace of shit and ur mothas a cunt." Usually the act of bridge-guarding requires the talents of a persistent and eloquent troll who has the ability to spell correctly, thus intimidating his subject victims merely by the fact that said subject victims have an inferiority complex due to their lack of education and their usually abysmal intellectual shortcomings. A troll who engages in bridge-guarding must be merciless but also must recognize when one of his subject victims may be about to commit suicide or harm others -- at which time the ethical bridge-guard will link to a national suicide hotline phone number and a website advocating for the treatment of mental health problems. 2.) the act of preventing a loved one's boyfriend from taking the loved one out for a night of binge drinking for the purpose of committing date rape, usually accomplished by punching the potential assailant as hard as possible in his groin and telling him, "When she comes home, if she's not sober and pleased with your gentlemanly conduct, I'm going to kill you, cut your head off, and drop you off a bridge and into a river." (An almost universally successful technique).
Asshole #1: Dude, I totally got bridge-guarded by her father last night!
Asshole #2: Too bad ... I was totally lookin' forward to fuckin' her brains out while she was unconscious.
Asshole #3: Yeah ... let's go post some comments on the CDC's Facebook page about how we think Obama is bringing Ebola into America.
Asshole #1: Fuck that. That chick's father is bridge-guarding that site ... and he always makes fun of my conspiracy theories and then puts up a link to Merriam-Webster's website and the National Suicide Hotline. That dude is TOTALLY fucking crazy and DANGEROUS! trolling cock-blocking
Asshole #2: Too bad ... I was totally lookin' forward to fuckin' her brains out while she was unconscious.
Asshole #3: Yeah ... let's go post some comments on the CDC's Facebook page about how we think Obama is bringing Ebola into America.
Asshole #1: Fuck that. That chick's father is bridge-guarding that site ... and he always makes fun of my conspiracy theories and then puts up a link to Merriam-Webster's website and the National Suicide Hotline. That dude is TOTALLY fucking crazy and DANGEROUS! trolling cock-blocking
by THE DOOMED STUFFING November 3, 2014
Get the bridge-guarding mug.1. To stand in the way and wave arms frantically, like blocking a shot in basketball or soccer, usually without moving from the target area.
2. To keep others from getting a chance at something.
3. To try to hide something by putting your hands in front of it to keep it from being taken or viewed.
2. To keep others from getting a chance at something.
3. To try to hide something by putting your hands in front of it to keep it from being taken or viewed.
1. Buckwheat was penalized for once again monkey guarding the net.
2. Fat Frieda didn't let any of the other postal workers talk to her boss for fear they'd get her fired or promoted past her. Her co-workers knew she was monkey guarding the boss and got around her, getting her fired anyway.
3. Janette monkey guarded her coffee cup because she knew if Jack could get to it she wouldn't taste coffee the next time she drank it.
2. Fat Frieda didn't let any of the other postal workers talk to her boss for fear they'd get her fired or promoted past her. Her co-workers knew she was monkey guarding the boss and got around her, getting her fired anyway.
3. Janette monkey guarded her coffee cup because she knew if Jack could get to it she wouldn't taste coffee the next time she drank it.
by HurtMyDog IKillYourCat November 6, 2010
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