goatee

What douches use to identify their douchebaggery. The safest way there is to make sure no member of the opposite sex whatsoever even thinks about you twice.

Girl #1 - Hey, look at that guy's goatee!
Girl #2 - Oh my god, he's so unfuckable!
Girl #1 - Yeah, what a douche!

by Senhor Aníbal June 16, 2008

goatee

also known as a prison pussy

As Mark deep throated Miguel, and Miguel withdrew he commented that Mark had a nice goatee aka prison pussy

by Cramerica Industries January 09, 2007

goatee

Typical brand of a douchebag. They assume that girls automatically want to sleep with them because of it, but really it looks more like glued on pubes. See also soul patch and facial pubes.

Girl1:Hey did you see Graham today? He has a goatee.

Girl2: Ew, he's such a douchebag.

by Just In E February 11, 2010

Mexican goatee

After giving a girl a flumpkin, a Mexican goatee is where the shit has smeared on your chin of the giver

After Tim gave Sarah a flumpkin, she had noticed that she gave him a Mexican goatee

by Pussymasher6969 July 09, 2020

cum goatee

When you cum on a girl's face in a circle around her mouth so the cum is in the shape of a goatee.

Hey Greg, how'd your date go last night?

It was awesome, I gave that bitch a cum goatee!

by KC Kid July 27, 2006

glaze goatee

the residue left on one's face after performing a nice sloppy job of cunnilingus. The "glaze" would be all across and above the upper lip, down the edges of the mouth and completely covering the whole front of the chin.

After Delilah had her orgasm, Fred lifted his mouth from between her legs. She raised her head from the pillow and saw he was grinning at her. She smiled with satisfaction and found it quite charming how his glaze goatee glistened in the candlelight.

by theinstigator December 30, 2013

Accidental Goatee

When a guy slips shaving his face and his only options are to shave it all or shave a goatee and he ops for the latter.

Friend: Haha, Just because you grow a goatee doesn't mean you'll gain any of Chuck Norris's other powers.

Shaving Victim: Nah, man, this is an Accidental Goatee. I slipped shavin and it was between this and looking like a twelve year old.

Friend: Oh, shit, I'm sorry man. Maybe getting carded to buy cigs will motivate you to find a good barber shop.

Shaving Victim: Why would I pay someone to shave my beard? Your mom does it for free when I give her a mustache ride.

Friend: ...

by Pringlescan July 24, 2009