a cumpire is a vampire but only goes for the purest semen. the purest semen is in little boys. they extract the semen by sucking the little boys willy and spitting it out in milk bottles. the only known cumpires are the Atkinsons there whereabouts are in the stella tunnels have been sighted in winlation schools and in blaydon if you see these horrific beasts please let the nearest priest know where you saw them
by ethan j brown June 1, 2023
Guy 1: dude, did you hear about that movie twilight?
Guy 2: no, what's it about?
Guy 1: a buncha vampires who play baseball and sparkle in the sun.
Guy 2: fuckin cumpires.
Guy 2: no, what's it about?
Guy 1: a buncha vampires who play baseball and sparkle in the sun.
Guy 2: fuckin cumpires.
by Dick Ballderass August 16, 2010
A being of either genders that attacks you ball sack, sinks their teeth in and slurps the delicious bounty.... before/during/after a blow job..
Scott Barry: Damn...my sack is killing me from lasts night date.
John McKinley: What the hell happened last night and why is your crotch bloody?
Scott B: Damnit...I knew it...that bitch was a cumpire...AND I LIKE IT!!!!
Mark Byers: Yeah!!!!
John McKinley: What the hell happened last night and why is your crotch bloody?
Scott B: Damnit...I knew it...that bitch was a cumpire...AND I LIKE IT!!!!
Mark Byers: Yeah!!!!
by Captain James Tiberius Kirk September 8, 2008
by 4RG May 22, 2021
a woman who instead of feeding on the blood of random victims in order to stay "alive" chooses to subsist on the fresh thicm cum of countless random men
No man's cock was safe from the very.real pleasure waiting to consume their sperm when each harvest moon marked the return of the CUMPIRE
by Cumslut4life February 13, 2019
Alternative title for a porn director. A Cumpire operates as an umpire would in sport, but they judge and officiate sex scenes, usually involving athletic environments and situations such as locker rooms, gym equipment, bleachers, water cooler, etc.
"I dunno, this porn's not really doing it for me."
"I know right? What was the cumpire thinking, making that call for the cheerleader and the jock?"
"I know right? What was the cumpire thinking, making that call for the cheerleader and the jock?"
by Dallas Carmichael January 26, 2020