compretend

When someone seems to be comprehending directions or instructions but it turns out that they are just pretending.

My boss just explained the project to me and I nodded like I understood, but I was just compretending.

by CaptainRong1 December 23, 2013

School Computer

Either school issued laptops or the computers found in the library and computer labs.

Characteristics of a school computer:

-Trash hardware

-SHIT processor and graphics card, inability to run any games. Even something as simple as Minecraft or Roblox wouldn't start, forget about running anything decent.

-Inability to run even anything, even opening up Microsoft Word might crash the computer.

-Grainy 480p monitor from the 70's

-Extremely strict and unnecessary parental controls. Nearly every site will be blocked even the ones such as YouTube and Agar.io. The parental controls are the only thing on the computer that even works

-A pain in the ass and a bad time. You're better off buying a $500 computer yourself

Person 1: This school computer is trash, It can't even open Minecraft
Person 2: Yeah, let's just save for a real computer.

by TheExtremeEvoker December 24, 2018

old computer

slow

when your friends are slow asf
unable to function

takes forever to catch on

Holly: Demi do you know how many days are in the year?
Demi: No, uhh 267?
Holly: shaking my fucking head. you’re an old computer

by veronica cancklep June 9, 2018

sperm competition

The theory that the sperm from two or more males will compete with each other inside a females reproductive tract to fertilize her egg.

Sperm competition should insure that only the most virile of males father offspring.

by Dancerooster August 25, 2020

Competitive Player

A man named Nick Schatzki who is naturally good at video games

Ex: Dead by Daylight, Murder, Uno, ect

Nick you're such a competitive player !

by __Le__ June 16, 2017

CompTech

Compensation technology (abbreviated comptech or CompTech) is the technology and innovation that aims to advance traditional human resources tools and methods in the planning, communicating and benchmarking of employee compensation. Without going blind looking at spreadsheets for weeks at a time.

It is an emerging industry that uses real time data to reduce manual effort, human error and salary inequities in organizations. Compensation technology companies consist of both startups and established tech organizations aiming to make salary, benefits, valuation, cap tables, stock options and other complicated elements of total rewards more accessible to human resources teams and the general public. Because who actually knows what equity even means?

Janet in human resources just pulled six consecutive all nighters using spreadsheets to calculate raises for our 1,200 employees. Somebody get that woman a massage and a comptech platform!

Um, this Silicon Valley software engineer candidate claims his salary requirements are $1,387,200 a year. Can we verify that number with some kind of comptech market data?

I've worked at this tech startup for three years now, and I still have no idea what the heck equity means. I thought a vesting cliff was the outfit Midtown finance bros wore over their Oxford shirts. What's a brother gotta do to get a comptech subscription around this joint?

by rip_spreadsheets February 11, 2022

Complete global saturation

Something cool supervillains who wear sunglasses and have David Bowie accents strive to achieve. May or may not be said with long pauses between each word, followed by a deep breath. Typically foiled by those pricks from the BSAA.

Uruboros will be released into the atmosphere, ensuring complete global saturation.

*Deep breath*

by Rusty Was Here May 2, 2009