ASSCLAMPING

ASSCLAMPING IS WHEN THE ASSHOLE CLAMPS UP TO STOP HAVING ANYTHNG OOOZ OUT THE TIMING IS BAD,AND ITS TIME TO TAKE A DUMP NO PLACE TO GO, EXCEPT FOR A GAS STAION, 10 MILES AWAY, SO THE PERSON GETS ASSCLAMPING

WTF, I WAS GOING TO MY FRIENDS HOUSE TO MEET A CHICK AND I STARTED GETTING ASSCLMAPING, WTF? I THOUGHT MY ASS WAS GOING TO IMPLODE WITH ALL THAT ASSCLAMPING HAPPENING TO HOLD BACK THE SHIT

by ROACHES October 1, 2012

assplain

gender-free, verbose, condescending explanation that was not asked for nor needed. Typically patronizing and incorrect.

Jeff: So I watered the lawn and plants last night and...
Chad: Did you remember to put in the electrolytes and do it from the top down? From the top down. Add those electrolytes. If you don't do it right the grass grows in sideways and won't seed properly. Not to mention they'll no longer use the sun for photosynthesis.
Jeff: Dude - Why did you assplain this to me?

by MadTiki July 6, 2021

ASALA

Armenian Secret Army for the Liberation of Armenia, group of roughly three Armenians in Lebanon (Monte, Hagop, and Alec) who wreaked havoc on Turkish diplomatic installations in Western and Southern Europe during the early 1970s despite having a roughly $800 budget and operating out of a seventh floor "clubhouse" in Bourj Hamoud whose bathroom only got cleaned once when Monte's mom visited. Considered legends by some.

Hagop Hagopian: Well axper, it seems as though your qualifications are in order. Welcome to ASALA
Multilingual Monte Melkonian: Wunderbar! When do I get to meet the mysterious Hagop Hagopian and the other higher-ups?
Hagop Hagopian: That's me. We have this one other guy, but he hasn't been around in a while. Also I have autism.

Monte Melkonian: Aw shucks, I gave up my archeology program for this??

by Pernicious Lim December 17, 2018

Asalaamu Aleikum

Arabic for "Peace be upon you"

So I hear you are leaving for a long journey...Asalaamu Aleikum

by Dylan January 7, 2005

assclapper

Someone so stupid and fat that when they say something, the only sound is the echo of their ass cheeks resonating.

Jimmy is such an idiot -- what an assclapper!

by BelleMere July 24, 2010

assplash

The splashing of toilet water against the anus and buttocks as a result of heavy stools or Explosive diarrhea

While sitting on the shitter, I squinted in disgust as the assplash licked at my rear.

by Dr. Roid September 11, 2004

Assolation

Assolation: the social isolation that results when you’re such an annoying asshole that no one wants to be with you.

Ever since Uncle Bob manologued at Thanksgiving, he’s been in assolation.

by LooneyTooney January 7, 2019