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Apostrophe Atrocity

This term is similar to the apostrophe catastrophe, but it is reserved for the most revolting of apostrophe errors. Only a true abomination of a linguist would commit an apostrophe atrocity.
Examples of the apostrophe atrocity:

"Did yo'u do the home'work?"

"I do'nt think that its nece'ssary"

"O'h loo'k, its our Eng'lish teach'er"

"Why i's sh'e cryi'ng?
by Enigmatical November 20, 2010
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retard apostrophes

When people use ` instead of '. Very annoying because the correct quotes/apostrophe key can be easily found next to the fucking Enter key.
Jane: "don`t hesitate to IM me. i <3 random IM`s. my sn is a tokyo PRiNCESS. don`t ask about the tokyo thing. as you can so obviously tell, i`m not asian."
by Nigga November 20, 2004
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apostrophe

A punctuation mark often erroneously used to indicate "Beware of oncoming S!" as in "Apple's 3 for $2."
Mo Viele speculates on the origin of apostrophe abuse at her blog "fontidious":

the apostrophic epidemic

I often wonder who patient zero was.

I imagine that some lowly shopkeeper went out to paint “Bananas $3” on his sign, and was stricken with an uncontrollable urge to add an apostrophe. And soon his banana was the proud owner of $3. Not to be outdone, his rival down the street advertised “Banana’s 2 Dollar’s.” Then someone from the town full of affluent bananas went on a trip, carrying the contagion with him. “Train’s Departing Every 5 Minute’s.”

The pandemic had begun.
by Grinning Cat April 6, 2015
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Apostrophectomy

Lots of people nowadays don't know how to use apostrophes, and will put one in just about every word that ends in 's'. An apostrophectomy is a procedure for the removal of superfluous apostrophes in order to conform to proper english.
A combination of the words "Apostrophe" and the greek "ectomy", a common medical suffix meaning "to cut out".
"Did that guy go to school? His blog needs a serious apostrophectomy."
by TheHub May 20, 2009
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apostrophobia

Fear of the misuse of apostrophes when added to the plural version of a word, especially an acronym.
I have a recurring nightmare that in the future I will be the only person in the world with apostrophobia: everyone spells the plural of PC as PC's.
by baspring June 19, 2009
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Oxford Apostrophe

A polite way to describe horrendous misuse of punctuation.
"Without the phony Russia Witch Hunt, and with all that we have accomplished in the last almost two years (Tax & Regulation Cuts, Judge’s sic - Oxford Apostrophe, Military, Vets, etc.) my approval rating would be at 75% rather than the 50% just reported by Rasmussen," shrieked our national shame.
by MasculineToiletGuy December 7, 2018
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apostrophury

Feeling that is evoked in grammarians and other sensible people when they see apostrophes misused.
Our English teacher rages with apostrophury when we put an apostrophe in the possessive pronoun "its."
by An Aries April 6, 2009
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