Captain Crunch

Highly dangerous statue, capable of extremely fast movement when not being observed. Snaps necks, making a ‘crunch’ sound. Commonly known as SCP-173.

D Class 1: Oh shit, it’s Captain Crunch! Keep your eyes on it!
D Class 2: Blinking!
Captain Crunch snaps D Class 2’s neck.
D Class 2: CRUNCH!

by Natquik May 24, 2020

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Captain Crunch

When a man takes a rather large dump.

Buddy is in there dropping a Captain Crunch

by Dlancelot December 20, 2017

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Captain Ahab

A guy who fucks fat white girls.

Mike is such a Captain Ahab. He banged Bertha. There she blows.

by Gore Poppins October 19, 2015

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captain sarcasm

The arch-enemy of Captain Obvious, because unlike him, Captain Sarcasm just answers a stupid question with a rather crude or not sarcastic way. Or just simply states facts in a sarcastic way.

Stupid guy: "If I get bitten by a venomous spider, will I die?"
Captain Sarcasm: "No, you'll become Spider-Man."

Stupid guy: "How will my post card be delivered to my mom "by sea"?"
Cap. Sarcasm: "Swimming, obviously".

Stupid guy: "Do you need to use the bathroom?"
Cap. Sarcasm: *holding his crotch* "No, I need to go to the library and read a book".

by DiogoAttitude November 22, 2016

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Captain Machine

a bozo who has the IQ of a peanut and cant seal the deal.
He thinks hes a good wrestler but in the end hes just a lame ass bum who took steriods to win. Captain Stretchy is the real champ. I am not Captain Stretchy

Hey you just killed a cute kitty. Good one Captain Machine!

by Captain Midget May 03, 2006

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