Alaskan handjob

It’s a handjob with a slurpee as lube.

Guy: ya know, babe, our sex life is great but it’s time to ramp it up a bit!
Girl: I know you aren’t asking me for an Alaskan handjob!

by anonymous June 2, 2023

Alaskan Trader Joe's

Noun

A theoretical store that doesn't exist but should.

The nearest Trader Joe's to Anchorage, Alaska is a 40 hour drive away.

Don't complain that you have to drive an hour to get to Trader Joe's. You have been spoiled.

Bring Trader Joe's to Alaska! We need an Alaskan Trader Joe's!

by S.J. Bafalto June 18, 2023

alasan

A girl that loves bald men.

me: wow that guy is bald
alasan: AWOOOOGAA😍😍

by hoemoe June 21, 2023

Alaskan Wet-wipe

To be used while brushing your teeth and shitting: spitting your toothpaste onto the toilet paper before wiping.

Why are you crying?

I just used an Alaskan wet-wipe

What’s cooler than being cool?
An Alaskan wet-wipe

by Tim the word man July 1, 2023

Alaskan Pipeline

When a person poops in a condom, freezes it, then uses it as a dildo.

Melvin: "Hey luke, I have something special for you!"
Luke: "Oh yeah daddy, what's that?"
Melvin: "Bend over, and find out!"
Luke: "Oooo, it's cold. Did you Alaskan Pipeline me again!"

by Eco Afela July 8, 2023

agasp

When you walk into a conversation with no context and hear some hot goss, this is what you feel.

"Wow, I just heard they were roommates! I'm feeling agasp."

by Emicontained July 22, 2023

Alaskan Pipeline

The act of shitting in a condom, freezing it until solid, and using it as a dildo.

Kobe gave himself an Alaskan pipeline last night.

by Gusty_Aeroplane July 30, 2023