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the Johnson Paradox

The Johnson Paradox is a phenomenon where a group of people love and support an individual, despite that individual lying repeatedly and showing the utmost corruption and hypocrisy in their daily life.

The individual might also be completely in contempt of their supporters and morally destitute, but the supporters cannot see the individual for what they are and support them regardless.
Reasonable Person 1: "So he lied to everyone and was forced out of office by his own party, yet when he returned yesterday, he was met with thunderous applause?"
Reasonable Person 2: "It's the Johnson Paradox in effect."
by HypocrisySanctimony July 3, 2024
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Stretch Johnson

When your Johnson (cock) is between your lover's arse cheeks whilst you spoon her and she clamps onto your foreskin and proceeds to stretch it like a "Stretch Armstrong" toy.
My girlfriend clamped onto my cock and proceeded to Stretch Johnson with her arse cheeks and proceeded to stretch it, before he was hard enough to then slip it in.
by SmoothBallBearings September 3, 2024
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Don Johnson

Sporting a suit (or sports) jacket with sleeve holes pushed up to the elbow region.
"Oh dear. My jacket makes me feel overdressed at this party."
"You can always Don Johnson it?
by Purring Pony October 29, 2024
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Brent Johnson

to fall under the definition of Brent Johnson, you must require the following:

- two missing toes
- good breath
- a paintbrush

- wine cellar

in stressful times you often won’t need a brent johnson as it will makes your ears bleed listening to the constant apologies for wanking on the job.

to avoid this situation, it is suggested that you staple his mouth shut and lock him in an elevator to ensure you don’t hear the word “sorry”
poem:

“this little piggy went to the market, this little piggy stayed home, this little piggy got decapitated, and this little piggy survived”

- nursery rhyme by Brent Johnson
by gusgus69 December 6, 2024
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Jeremius Johnsonius

A term you can use when Jeremy Johnson becomes a fossil.
"Next exhibit, the Jeremius Johnsonius."
by theworldofurbanwords December 7, 2024
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Locke Johnson

Poker reference to an unbeatable hand
when you're playing cards and you realize that the possible hands that beat yours amount to zero, you drive like there's no tomorrow for Locke Johnson takes it all
by pinokeyoh December 8, 2024
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Pencil Johnson

'Pencil Johnson' is a new term that surfaced on the streets of Las Vegas, and it means: Shoving a crack pipe down your scrotum.
"Yo man I just Pencil Johnson'd myself last night, that shit was lit" - Some crack user.
by Pencil J. January 7, 2025
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