Jesus hammer

a Chritsian cross

preson1-im fuc*king shank u wit mah jesus hammer!"
person 2- What the he*l is that
person1-let me show you (pulls out a cross) (shanks person 2 with it)
preson2-da*n that hurt!

by Loren from lancaster December 8, 2010

jesus jones

It's not jesus, its his brother.

Instead of jesus Christ... you would simply state.. jesus jones!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by xfadingxsweetlyx October 19, 2007

Jesus Christing

verb. Non-secular. tying one's sexual partner to a cross with a crown of razorwire or other prickly objects while preforming fellatio to them

"Man, did you see those two Jesus Christing last night? I wish they'd close their blinds."

by aigle March 14, 2020

liquid jesus

a liquid so amazingly amazing it is refered to as liquid jesus. same as saying it is holy

HOLY SHIT! THIS BEER! IT'S LIKE....LIKE....LIKE LIQUID JESUS!!!!

by /Joker/ February 6, 2009

Air Jesus

In call of duty mw2 for the game winning killcam you jump off a large object and kill the other person before you hit the ground.

I just did an Air Jesus on dat hoe!

by Dirty pugsley March 16, 2010

Teleprompter Jesus

Obama

The kool aid drinkers hung onto every word out of Teleprompter Jesus mouth

by gogoqueen66 August 30, 2010

Jesus Martinez

A fucking dumbass that has no sense of humor and thinks that he is the best person in the world.

"Do you know a Jesus Martinez?
"Yeah I do."
" Oh damn, I feel bad for you now."

by Funsized Table May 31, 2018