News Handjob

Reading news for the sole purpose of confirming your own beliefs.

Instead of reading the NYT or the Washington Post Rob is getting a news handjob by clicking on Brietbart
a news hand job

by Johnny Cos December 15, 2017

plastic news

Poorly constructed or cheaply manufactured fake or un important news that is released quickly with intent to distract.

D.P.

Did you see the big news story that just came out? Yep more plastic news to distract us from the important stories.

by Imalevolent February 21, 2019

Wonderbread News

Usually referring to white people being a public embarrassment. Mostly towards Karens, kens, Redpill, and white celebrities who act foolish on social media.

" We got that wonderbread News!"

by dogymodg July 11, 2023

new kitty

A sweet cat who is loyal and your number one companion! Normally a brown tabby female

She named her new cat New Kitty, and she’s a darling!

by Kitty_Cat_Lover December 20, 2017

new zealan

Me misspelling New Zealand, really cool.

person 1: wtf is new zealan

person 2: its New Zealand. Not Australia. I hate you.

by I love geography September 12, 2022

eBay-new

When something just barely passes as being in a "new" condition or looks tampered with but still in original packaging.

person 1: wow are those shoes new?

person 2: Yea they just came in the mail, but when I opened the box the size and price were ripped off the box and there was a little dirt on the bottoms.
Person 1: oh... so they're eBay-new? but they nice doe.

by Joey Bag's of Donuts September 12, 2016

Pew news

Pew news is a news outlet run by a youtuber called PewDiePie on his youtube chanel. He mostly talks about internet drama and big company ''oopies''

subscribe to PewDiePie

Pew news is the most reliable news source on the internet

by MeinVieg February 14, 2019