Nature's Valley Granola Bars

Person A-"Dude, I'm eating healthier, Im eating these new Nature's Valley Granola Bars!"
Person B-"Those are not that healthy, they are like the candy bar of health food...."
by Adheesive June 14, 2008
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Jerry the Granola Berry King

A dude named Jerry is obsessed with granola berry bars.
Hey Jerry. What are you eating?
Oh, I'm eating this tasty granola berry bar. It's my 9th one today!
You fucking Jerry the Granola Berry King.
by gloglishmish March 09, 2021
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Ten Granola Bar Day

That special time of the month where ladies find it necessary to eat entire boxes of granola bars in one sitting
Roommate 1: That girl just stuck a pencil through Bob's eye because he smiled at her.
Roommate 2: Uh-oh. Must be Ten Granola Bar Day.
by Roommate 3 April 15, 2008
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A term used to describe a woman who is too good for you or out of your league.
Bro 1: look at that chick over there, go buy her a drink, bro 2!
Bro 2: naw man she is yoga, yogurt and granola (YY&G). She wouldn't go for an alchoholic, video game playing fuckboy like me.
by Pecoreal October 16, 2019
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granola

a heterosexual white man that finishes after a singular stroke because of his built up testosterone from watching anime porn, usually named some basic shit like will or jackson
hook ups with frat boys are granola as fuck
by akhxloqnx July 10, 2022
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Granola

Middle Aged white man named Brandon. Loves to hike, has never hunted. Eats werthers hard candy and complains about hippies. Brags about riding horses and being “country”
Brandon said he’s a country bumpkin.. but we all know he’s a granola!
by WingDangDanDoodle September 08, 2022
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Granola

A “ Granola” can be described as a Vegan, Organic, Non-GMO, BPA-Free, Grass Fed, Grass Finished, Dairy Free, Nut Free, Soy Free, Lemon Wedge Deodorant wearing overly environmentally friendly non-hippy-but-also-a-hippy-at-the-same time stereotype (Think hippy minus the drugs and the tie dye.) Granolas often smell like curry and likely live in an off-the-grid tiny house in the middle of some field they probably don’t actually own. In said tiny houses in an effort to save the climate, they likely redirect their “all natural toilet waste” from their glorified port-a-potty into their veggie compost to later use as “natural” fertilizer. Granolas often dress in an outdoorsy fashion that also resembles that of a well dressed hobo. It is not uncommon to identify a Granola wearing Birkenstocks, Athletic Shorts, Camel Back backpacks, North Face Jackets, and more regardless of whether or not they take frequent hikes. Granolas may also be seen driving a Subaru Outback with several decals on the back windshield that often refer to climate change and world peace.
I love Jan but after her month long getaway in the deep woods of the Rocky Mountains, she turned into a total granola!
by NoboHobo January 19, 2022
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