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Wooden the Day

Wooden the Day means having a good morning after a bad night, often a sleepless night due to alcohol consumption but parenting is also a common cause.
Woodening the day is often active, so a person strives to wooden their day by choosing to partake in positive experiences which will require little concentration and mental effort.
"The toddler wouldn't stop crying but we woodened the day with a mimosa brunch."
"Honey, can you get me an Advil? It would totally wooden the day."
"After you clean up we can head back to Barnie's. That should wooden your day."
by ShyAaaaaaaaa November 24, 2021
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Wooden Board Warrior

An insufferable person, typically who posts on social media about their whole “unprocessed” foods who can’t go a second without making a video about their raw steak, veggies and honey whilst also making crazy food claims without any evidence or studies.
“These wooden board warriors are acting like anything they put on a board is healthy
by VLTN May 12, 2024
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wooden chair

a wooden chair would often be compared to someone named avery.
katie: hey, you kinda look like a wooden chair!
avery: me?
katie: yeah u kinda do
by pop ouuu July 31, 2023
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Jene Wooden

THiS DUMB BENCH (JENE WOODEN) iS WRONG.
by JFSIOAF May 2, 2009
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wooden cudgel

A game played between two or more contestants.

Rules:

1. Enter a forest or wooded area
2. Each contestant must locate a piece of wood that they can hold and swing with one or both hands (cudgel)
3. Each contestant swings the wood they have found at each other with the intent to disarm their opponents or to encourage them to submit
4. The last contestant bearing their cudgel is winner
Arnold: "What happened to you!?"

Davie: "Fred and I were playing wooden cudgel."

Arnold: "What the fuck is wooden cudgel?"

Davie: "Ya know, two men enter a forest and get pieces of wood, then swing the wood at each other until one man submits... Pause"

Arnold: "Ay yo!"
by Oilcan Boogs October 20, 2010
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Wooden Pickaxe

A pickaxe made of wood, how dumb do you have to be to not know this
why are you mining diamonds with a wooden pickaxe
by Golferbc February 19, 2021
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wooden horse torture

the wooden horse is a triangular prism normally set up on legs. (not actual human legs) The person being tortured is to straddle the horse. Since the wooden triangular prism is set on the legs so the edge faces upward, the person straddling the horse experiences immense pain and could be left with permanent damage. This is commonly used as a type of torture in BDSM.
"Wooden horse torture turns me on."
"That's really kinky!!"
by Dahlia (didi) February 23, 2024
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