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computer witness

A particular subgenre of computer geek. Someone who is obsessed with computers for the sake of computers and not for what they can do. Will often spend hours running performance tests and having "races" between different chips with various programs without ever getting any actual work done on said equipment.
Gene longs for the good old days of the Macs-vs-PCs war...those were some good times, up late with a flat of Mountain Dew and all his buddies racing their computers. Gene is a computer witness.
by DJ HORSERACING ACCIDENTS September 1, 2004
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evil witness

1. its an experience under the influence of marijuana, when one stares listlessly for some period of time

2. starring absently for a long period of time
1. e.g. I had intensions of paying attention in class but began evil witnessing at the start of the lecture. e.g. tv is on the food network but you are not actually watching or listening to what is on.
by Stonner Life November 20, 2009
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Silent Witness

Name given to a gentlmans hand that is used in the act of self love. The hand knows your secrets but luckily for you it will never tell.
That was lucky. I almost broke a finger on my Silent Witness...
by Piggonshig April 24, 2016
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irrefutable witness

The footage from my now priceless body/dash cam(s) given to Law Enforcement Officials and cleared me of bullshit claims. Fuck yea irrefutable! Say somethin. You can't, because irrefutable.
"They said I did what?? Take a long look at the footage from my irrefutable witness son son, that's all straight bull shee-it."
"Ahah, I got an irrefutable witness 24-7, so you best gets a steppin' to find some offs to fuck"
by war-n January 6, 2019
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jehovah's witness

a person that believes that jehovah is their creater and also follows monotheism strongly. they also knock on people's door to try and get them to join their religion.
a jehovah's witness knocked on my door yesterday
by im_the_Bomb June 15, 2009
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jehovah's witness repellent

Step 1: Say you worship the devil or are the devil.

Step 2: Those cowards will run away screaming.
*Jehovah's Witness knocks on man's door*
Witness: Hello, sir, do you have time to talk about his Holy Grace Lord and Saviour Jesus?
Michael: GET OUT OF HERE OR I WILL CURSE YOU FOR I am SATAN! *starts flailing and rolling on the floor*
* Witness runs away*
Jehovah's Witness repellent
See? Easy.
by EasternEuropeanSlavLover January 27, 2022
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Can I Get a Witness?

A phrase used when the user is accomplishing some rediculous feat, or is doing something like a boss.
*Serves four aces in a row*
- "Oh, can I get a witness?!"

*Come in first at a cross-country meet*
- "Can I get a witness, I mean seriously?!"
by LesterTheMolester(Pete Jones) September 11, 2010
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