Midwest

The only place in America where you are almost 100% guaranteed to get snow in April every year. Sometimes it even snows in June if you're extremely unlucky.

Person from the Midwest: "My father once told me a story of how it snowed on his birthday in North Dakota, thereby ruining all of his and his friends and family's plans."
Person who is not from the Midwest: "What's so surprising about that?"
Midwest: "My dad's birthday is in JUNE."
Not Midwest: *Literally faints*

by Ubeenbamboozledson June 20, 2022

Midwest Ketchup Bottle

Where you ejaculate into your lady’s vagina, blow into it, have her jump up and down and squeeze her stomach like a ketchup bottle

My boyfriend gave me a Midwest Ketchup Bottle last night, so I highly doubt I’m pregnant.

by Lordmegatron August 20, 2018

Midwest Vertigo

The strange sensation one feels when it looks like it's 70°F outside, but it is actually only 45 or 50.

I looked out the window and it seemed warm, but was hit with Midwest Vertigo when the cold air blasted me in the face.

by Hoosier headache May 28, 2018

Midwest Uber

The shot you take at the bar before you walk home during the winter.

I'm going to go up to the bar to order my Midwest Uber home.

by Emily Valentine January 23, 2022

Midwest Baptism

When you are driving on a two lane highway in the Midwest and a plow is going the opposite direction and sprays your windshield and vehicle with slushy snow such that you have to run the wipers on high.

“I was on my way to your booze-mas party when on highway 19 got a Midwest Baptism”

by Mikey5w March 31, 2022

midwest medium

Full-bodied. Voluptuous. Zaftig.

She said she was medium build, but that’s a “Midwest medium” not an L.A. medium.

by Scissorgrrrl May 12, 2018