The Lottery

something that your dad comes back for when you win it

Me: MOM I WON THE LOTTERY
(dad: teleports in)
Dad: Your going to give me some, right?

by Your_local_genderbender October 21, 2022

Ghetto lottery

Getting your paycheck

Yeah it's Friday I won the ghetto lottery time to go get my check.

by Wayne M. May 30, 2024

Anti lottery

The fateful circumstance where everything that could possibly go wrong, goes wrong in a narrow timeframe; a Murphy's law special. The collective series of negative events happening simultaneously as if the red moon and stars aligned. Life did not simply give you the middle finger, it spawned a breed of Thumb-Thumb's from Spy Kids except instead of thumbs, they were exclusively comprised of middle finger appendages sent to tackle you in the night. The scratch off ticket you thought would yield you no more than a flat tire or a spaghetti sauce-stained dress shirt actually rendered the mother-load of Powerball prizes. You sir just unveiled the golden ticket to Milly Monka's Chocolate Sweatshop (and no, the snozzberries do not taste like snozzberries.) The good news is that this only happens to 0.00069% of the population.

Jessica: Hey man, what's wrong?

Tom: *sniffles* well, uhh, Kaitlyn broke up with me today right after I got into the motorcycle accident and my pet sugar glider died from testicular cancer this morning.

Jessica: ohh gee, sorry bud. Well at least your parents' divorce anniversary isn't for another month yet.

Tom: actually it's today..

Jessica: damn, guess you hit the anti lottery.

by YourAlmostBestFriend March 16, 2022

The Lottery

The sheer hubris in doing shit like this and then making movies about it is ASTOUNDING!

Hym "Well would you look at that! 'The Lottery!' Another account of what you people collectively do to individuals. Reward Noah for winning the fat-cock lottery and then punish me for drawing the short straw. THIS IS WHAT YOU DO! It isn't me. It isn't my psychology. I figured out what you were up to and this is what you do in response to getting caught. I guess it's time for the drone strikes. Light them up. There is no redeeming this place. You all need to go quietly or loudly back into the darkness from wence you came. It's not a surprise your God came here and killed itself."

by Hym Iam April 14, 2025

Lottery Mouth

1.) Someone who says the very first thing that comes to their mind. Just like a lottery machine and how the first number that comes out is the number they say out loud.

2.) It is also when the thing you say is completely random. Like when a lottery machine spits out a number ball at random.

Jason keeps on yelling out completely random things. I think he may have lottery mouth.

by Jizzle99 April 17, 2015

Spider-man Lottery

An extremely, sometimes purposely, dumb, often deadly, idea for an invention, taken from the DougDoug stream "Shark Tank, but AI is pitching the ideas" where a chatter suggested the spider Man lottery, a lottery where you enter and all but one box is a highly venomous spider, except for one that was the radioactive spider

Can you believe the baby cage was a real thing? It's pretty much a Spider-Man Lottery.

by Clevervirus July 24, 2024

The lottery

Putting multiple condoms into a basket, while one condom has a small hole. Then when the time comes to use a condom a person mixes the condoms up and draws from the basket. Whom ever receives the condom with the hole wins THE LOTTERY.

Ryan played the lottery a couple weeks ago, turns out he won. He’s afraid the child support will be more than he can afford.

by Dat Bald head August 6, 2022