Schrödinger's cock

Like Schrödinger's cat, Schrödinger's cock is both big & small until it is seen.
Schrödinger's cock refers to a hidden cock being both the biggest penis and not the biggest penis in the room.
Once a cock has been seen by people in your orbit, it is no longer a Schrödinger's cock.
Jimmy never showers at the gym, he's protecting his precious Schrödinger's cock.

Bob always acted such the Alpha Male, but since he lost his Schrödinger's cock we all know 'he aint all that'.
Ever since Glenn lost his Schrödinger's cock, the size queens won't leave him alone. Turns out he's hung like an elephant.
by mr dash July 02, 2023
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Schrödinger's Instigator

A guy who instigates arguments and decides whether he was joking based on the reaction of people around him.
Beware of Aaron, he's a known Schrödinger's Instigator! He'll bait you into arguing about wheels and doors.
by saerxm June 20, 2022
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Schrödinger’s Inquiry

Simultaneously wanting and not wanting to know information, usually relating to a situation or event.
The McRib is great, but I have Schrödinger’s Inquiry about what’s in it.
by akumathekroc October 30, 2023
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Schrödinger's marriage

A same-sex marriage where one of the people involved is transgender. Conservatives will simultaneously claim the marriage isn't legitimate because they oppose gay marriage while also claiming the trans person to be their agab, in which case they should see the marriage as being straight and should not have an issue with it. They will still get angry about it regardless because their opinions don't make sense.
Person A: So your homophobic and transphobic aunt is mad at you for marrying a girl even though she believes you are still a man?

Person B: Yeah, I've got a Schrödinger's marriage situation going on.
by Mr.Hangover July 06, 2023
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Schrödinger’s Bitch

A guy who always joins the winning side of an arguement.
Jai is such a Schrödinger’s Bitch
by Piss Bitch September 23, 2020
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Schrödinger's Software

Software is considered simultaneously both tampered with and not tampered with until it has been verified by a digital signature
“A customer called and asked when our YOLO product will stop looking like Schrödinger's Software”
“When we finally start signing and verifying the software interactions in our supply chain
by SupplyChainLevelMidnight October 22, 2022
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Schrödingers Ape

Apes are simultaneously retarded and highly-informed, resulting in Kenny having to quantum oscillate deez nuts.
All their fancy quantum physics models failed to solve the Schrödingers Ape paradox.
by TrueBananaMonkey November 19, 2021
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