jesus f christ

short for saying "jesus fucking christ"

Your dog just took a shit on my rug! jesus fucking christ!

by Brian March 01, 2005

Jesus Fucking Christ

When the church or a person are actually fucking themselves over.

Jesus fucking Christ, it's like he's fucking himself in the ass while sucking his own dick!

by kariusvega April 19, 2018

jesus h christ

an expression of surprised digust. The H probably stands for "Holy."

"Jesus H. Sufferin' Christ."

by Valda October 14, 2003

jesus h christ

name; Jesus Henry Christ. The illegitimate son of Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene and the grandson of god. Today used as an expression of amazement or excitement which has carried over from his lifetime. When Mary would introduce his as Jesus H Christ, people would reapeat it in disbelief.

Mary: Hey luke, have you met my son, and the grandson of god, Jesus H Christ?
Luke: Jesus H Christ! Praise your Grandpa! Are you here to die for our sins like your old man? Hey what does the H stand for?
Jesus H Christ: Henry
Luke: Jesus H Christ! Turn some water to wine! Let's party!
Jesus H Christ: hallelujah! Your prayers have been heard! Bring out the water!
Mary: Jesus H Christ! You'r to young to drink.
Jesus H Christ: My Grandpa damn you!
Luke: Jesus H Christ!, you said it.

and so on

by C.W. Anderson III September 14, 2005

Jesus H. Christ

Jesus H. Christ is a mythological character stemming from Christian lore. The "H" in the middle of the names is believed to stand for a number of things, ranging from "Holy" to "Harold," However, recent evidence suggests that the "H" actually stands for "HeySeuss." This story book character's middle name was inserted recently in order to pay homage to the greatest children's story teller of all time: Dr. Seuss. While the movement started as something of a cult tradition, it quickly made its way into pop culture, even appearing on the silver screen from time to time as a profanity. This is of course wildly inappropriate to true followers as it is disrespectful to take the good Doctor'said name in vain. As a happy coincidence of this fan-fabricated name, the Hispanic pronunciation of the first name is also taught upon reading the middle name.

God: Do you mind if I name my child after you?
Dr. Seuss: It would be an honor.
God: He shall be called Jesus HeySuess Christ.
Dr. Seuss: Jesus H. Christ, a fine name for a main character.

by DefiningReality June 03, 2017

Jesus H. Christ

Shortened version of the full name Jesus Hitler Christ.

"I don't know man, Jesus Hitler Christ sounds weird."
"So just go with Jesus H. Christ?"
"Yeah"

by TrueLiesFromLife February 19, 2019

Jesus Christ on a cripple after Sunday mass!

An exclamation that can be used after having encountered a bad situation. Can be used in conjunction with; Jesus Christ, Christ, Jesus Tap dancing Christ, and "awww hell".

Dude A: Hey have you seen that video with two chicks and a cup?

Dude B: Jesus Christ on a cripple after Sunday mass! That was fucked!

by JPF December 04, 2007