beat you to a pulp

To beat someone so bad that they completely lose control of their body; causing their brains to run out of their head, the snot to run out of their nose, the piss to run out of their penis, and the shit to run out of their ass. The beating culminates as the person withers into a pulp and their pants fall down into a disgusting spew of brains, snot, piss, and shit. The beating concludes by certifying the person as a complete personal failure by uploading humiliating photos and videos of them to social media.
I’m gonna come over there and beat you to a pulp!
by IGKYA53 January 25, 2021
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bad beat story

Someone who just lost a hand (usually in poker) and will bemoan about it to anyone who listens online.

Most of the time, the listeners do not give a shit about the other person's bad beat.

See bad beat
Noob at poker: My 2-7 offsuit lost to AA when the flop came 2-7-9. The turn was a 9!! HOW LUCKY CAN HE GET?

Good person at poker: Like I care.
by Cds April 18, 2005
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Beat My Bagel

A slang term for female masturbation.
Alternative uses include:
Beat Your Bagel
Bagel Beater
1: I'm in control when I beat my bagel.

2: I heard she just stays home all day and beats her bagel.
by Justin Washington January 22, 2008
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Beat-off bumps

A long line of pot holes in the road that shake the car enough so the driver can grab his dick and jack off effortlessly.
I was driving down the road when I hit a set of beat-off bumps... With no effort I grabbed my cock and busted a nut on my steering wheel
by Happy beater August 13, 2010
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beats his meat

Fast up and down motion of the hand while grasping the male genitalia.
This guy likes to smoke a bowl after he beats his meat.
by Greenguy420 February 04, 2015
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beat the breaks off

1.East St Louis slang for whooping somebodys ass.

2.To fuck really hard.
He beat the breaks off that weak nigga.

I'd beat the breaks off of her.
by A-Bomb TGN July 21, 2005
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Beating little kids

The act of hitting a kid and hurting it.
A popular game at parties.
Keeps you from hitting people that can hit back.
"Lets play Beating little kids!"
by fatboyhaley August 28, 2008
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