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Uncle Precious

A badass uncle who doesn't a shit about what others think! He's always welcoming and hospitable. On friday nights especially, he'll invite you to his house (which he cutely calls his lair) for fifa. Once you enter, you'll begin to notice, there is no TV. As a matter face, there is no furniture. Cum stains litter the walls.

"Wait what!" you'll scream,
"Cmon you know you love it" he'll respond.
He then shoves you into its scrotum where it smells like fish and the flesh hugs you from all sides.

Defined by his parents, Uncle Precious is a family sweetheart. When he was younger though, he went a horny rebellious teen phase. They would be eating dinner, when the whole house would begin to smell like fish. Yet the scent would grow stronger and stronger. Uncle Precious would come closer and closer. Hornier and hornier.
"What the shit Precious! It smells like fish!"
"Cmon you know you love it!" he would respond
"HE LOOKS HORNY!!!" My mother would cry, noting the massive bump in his pants.

"On the count of 3, 1... 2... RUN!!!" My grandmother shout.
Uncle precious would then run around the house terrifying the family members while stroking his member, his dick wagging in front of him like a happy dog.

Then, something snapped inside my grandfather. He pulled out the 16mm thumbtack from his front pocket. And pinned his scrotum to all corners of the house. He never misbehaved, ever again. Until, his sister had children.
"Please be gentle this time Uncle Precious, last time your rough scrotum really hurt me!"
"Cmon Uncle, do I really have to take Viagra the third time this day, I'm already bricked as hell!"
"UNCLE PRECIOUS: I'M GOING SOFT,!!!! I NEED MY VIAGRA!!!! I CANT BE SOFT EVER AGAIN!!!!!"
by UnclePrecious December 27, 2023
mugGet the Uncle Preciousmug.

Uncle Billy

Ones uncle who lives in the southern United States, typically in rural Florida, who has such a strong southern accent that it’s hard to understand the person. In addition, he Carrie’s around cigarettes, used condoms and a bandana
Your uncle billy is weird.
by WeDalt dlril December 19, 2022
mugGet the Uncle Billymug.

Uncle Samsonite

A man, typically overweight who gets the satisfaction of twerking infront of minors
There is no example, theres just Uncle Samsonite.
by SuperNigger2145 October 2, 2024
mugGet the Uncle Samsonitemug.

uncle jack hasn't come by today

This is when a guy/girl hasn't had the time to do his/her daily jack-off and is pent up and taking it out on others. If you are not a daily masturbater then this could also be used as "uncle jack hasn't come by this week/month"
"I'm sorry for being a jerk, uncle jack hasn't come by today and it has be all riled up"
by Wholeeyo October 8, 2021
mugGet the uncle jack hasn't come by todaymug.

Uncle Punch

A light Jab in a fighting game meant to trip up your opponent or lead to quick and unexpected follow-ups.
"Damn, that Luigi's Uncle Punch into Up-B totally devastated that Fox!"
by Wumperson November 2, 2020
mugGet the Uncle Punchmug.

Uncle Kyla

A term used to describe a girl who gets really fucked up/forgets who to act around being rizzed up nicely kinda like this emoji🥴
Bro she unlce kylaring when he was talking to her its actually so brezzy
Remember dont uncle kyla
by anonymous February 16, 2023
mugGet the Uncle Kylamug.

ur uncle pedo

one up from ur aunt ase

when this is said, everything in the universe (or in the void, if it is said there) turns into a random object
Sean: ur aunt ase
Bart: say that one more time
Sean: ur aunt ase
Bart: ur uncle pedo
*everything in the universe turns into a staple gun*
mugGet the ur uncle pedomug.

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