I may be two-tenths of a split-second late

A playfully-overprecise remark that you tell someone to let him know that you may be briefly delayed in meeting up with him, and so he should simply wait for you if you don't arrive at precisely the moment when you said you would.

Cool dude, texting to his buddy on his smart-phone as he's hurriedly scuttling along the downtown sidewalk: "I've had a last-minute errand that I gotta run real quick, so I may be two-tenths of a split-second late --- no worries, though, Bro --- I'll still shoot some hoops wif youse, just as I promised."

by QuacksO October 2, 2018

Second-hand monkey-hand

When the intial do teller gets told what to do.

Josh: "Go wash the dishes Mike."
Mike:"Go take out the trash Josh."
Carl: "Dam that's some Second-Hand Monkey-Hand."

by Capuchin for Hire April 23, 2022

60 second rule

The amount of time before which certain individuals who have asked a dumb or inconsequential question will have either found the answer on his own, or have realized it wasn't worth asking.

Certain people are more susceptible to this rule than others. It's rare that they'll still be curious after 60 seconds have passed. Most of the time, ignoring their question does the trick.

P: If Batman's parents died, then how was he born?
K: ...
(60 seconds pass)
P: Ohhhhhh. Just Googled it.
K: 60 second rule. Works every time.
P: You're a dick.

by Triggers365 March 15, 2017

ten second test

The amount of time it takes on a blind date or a computer date site date before you realize that the next hour or two is going to be a total waste of time. In other words: you're not attracted.

Dude #1: How was the date last night?
Dude #2: Horrible!
Dude #1: What? She fail the ten second test?
Dude #2: No, I think I did! She hardly talked to me or looked at me the whole time.

by Vagabond King January 31, 2010

southern second

longer than a normal second, but shorter than southern minute.

I can whip up breakfast for us in just a southern second.

by Aqua Inferno September 26, 2017

Second Helping

Dating someone that looks like your ex.

Second Helping: Jenny is now dating John, who looks identical to her ex Clarke. Coincidence? We think not.

by Resolutes November 1, 2019

second opawnion

The destructive/oppressive practice of --- when wrongfully refusing a perfectly-reasonable request from someone of less physical/emotional/intellectual/financial means than you possess --- consulting someone else whom you know will be a "yes man" to anything you say (i.e., "pawn") for a confirming/bolstering agreement, thereby invalidly giving the unfortunate favor/easement-requester the false idea that "everyone else feels the same as I do", and thus that he himself must be the one who's being selfish/wimpy/unreasonable to expect something like that, even though both you and your "confederate" know fully well that **you yourself** are the one who's in the wrong by your heartless refusal to allow for the asker's less-than-optimum capabilities.

Asking for a second opawnion is actually a form of gaslighting, since it can cause the unfortunate mercy-seeker to doubt his own sanity in his actually-totally-valid belief that whatever he is requesting is logical/necessary. By your strongly expressing your lying assertion that his request is unreasonable/preposterous --- and yet he himself can see no problem with whatever he is asking for, since he honestly feels the genuine and overwhelming need to have said easement granted him due to his own infirmities/incapabilities --- you may very likely cause him to invalidly think that he does not even know his own needs/self/body properly, which can lead to a permanent damage to his basic perception of reality and self-worth.

by QuacksO December 5, 2017