Fat Jesus

The guy who always gets stuck with the fat chick in a group. A messiah for overweight women.

Looks like Fat Jesus got himself a hippo this time.

by @shot_of_cabo November 14, 2019

jesus weiner

an exclamation; a general term of surprise; expression of outragia; unexpected spiritual epiphany

"Jesus weiner! Why can't you keep that spit in your mouth where it belongs?" "Jesus weiner, I didn't know Katy gave birth to a hybrid alien baby girl!" "Jesus weiner, did the boss ever take a piece of my ass in that meeting!" "Jesus weiner, I sure got raped by that car dealer!" "Jesus weiner, I have all 6 numbers on tonight's Lotto!!!!"

by twopaws February 24, 2010

Jesus Crisis

The combined total of the confusion and chaos created by all the religeous factions, their dogma, ritual and conflicting interpretations of ancient superstitious writings and failed attempts to give meaning to natural phenomenon.

People are murdering each other over who has the best imaginary friend, jesus crisis!

by JackTheWhipper June 28, 2019

Jesus Placebo

The thought that jesus will bandage your pains.

Hey man your back still hurting?
Yeah but I be on that jesus.
You mean jesus placebo?

by Stef@ May 5, 2014

asian jesus

asian with dreads, not necessarily christian

Damn, that asian jesus rocks the dreads like marley never could.

by asianjesus September 8, 2006

Jesus Freak

A person who preaches about their god Jesus to anyone and everyone for no apparent reason. They participate in a "club" to reaffirm that they are good people. They don't show people how their god is good they just expect you to understand. These people are not well liked because they do not understand people very well, maybe a psychology or sociology class would help but that to their religion is "devil-cotruption". They are a militant group proved to be dangerous. Look up Crusades under scholary works by reputable Universitys. Usally young people that don't know anything about what life is.

Jesus freak: I love god and he has done more for me than anyone can!
a non-jesus freak: Nobody cares that you love god.

by wankitsfree February 11, 2010

sneaky jesus

Sex so hard and fast that it could only have been Jesus who snuck up and did it.

The sneaky jesus here is unbelievable!

by Envy1497 June 19, 2007