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Almond Boyfriend

An almond boyfriend is a gymbro that has taken their protein intake and calorie count a little too far. They don't eat any flavourful food and all of their 'snacks' have added protein. This behaviour often affects their friends and partners, as going out for a meal or to the pub is as difficult as going out with a vegan. They are allergic to fun, won't eat any pasta, ice-cream, sweets and often, alcohol.

You can find snacks in their house such as: protein yoghurt, dried mango, psyllium husk powder, lentil crisps, nuts, lion's mane, skinny milk, cottage cheese, protein powder, graze oat bars, skyr, protein bars, overnight oats, protein cereal.

A typical Almond Boyfriend meal would consist of rice, boiled broccoli and no spice flesh colour chicken breast. No flavour must be tasted in the food.
Some people are gluten free. Almond Boyfriends are fun free.
Ben doesn't like fizzy drinks, he's an Almond Boyfriend.
I watch a movie with my Almond Boyfriend – he didn't have any popcorn so we ate dried apricots.
Jack doesn't cook with any spice, I think he's an Almond Boyfriend.
by pumpkinspicedemon November 29, 2024
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Supertwink's Tangible/Intangible Gay Boyfriend

I could have made that story so much better and he has the best power so now I have to talk about him even though I don't necessarily want to...

Hym "Wouldn't it be better if Supertwink's Tangible/Intangible Gay Boyfriend was really the villain? He's obsessed with Superboy so he resolves to augment the red kryptonite he finds one day and turns it pink in a lab accident that results in him becoming both tangible and intangible.
Then he uses the pink kryptonite to turn superboy gay and get superboy to molest his butthole. But Superman thinks something is amiss. He found himself suspiciously horny around that gay dude. So he enlists Batman to follow him. Who is this tangible/intangible gay man and why have they never heard of someone with such an overwhelming power? So they investigate and the truth is revealed but WHAT COULD THEY POSSIBLY DO AGAINST SOMEONE WHO IS NOT TANGIBLE!? So they are left to fight superboy to try and get him away from the pink kryptonite but OH NO! Supertwink's Tangible/Intangible Gay Boyfriend doesn't have to deal with molecular entanglement! Molecules that aren't his are displaced when he becomes tangible! Even the Kryptonian's hyper-dense molecular structure isn't safe from molecular displacement! It's ok! Batman called a friend 30 minutes ago. Barry Allen comes flying in 'Sorry I'm late!' Barry can ALSO pass through solid objects and is able to vibrate hus molecules so that Supertwink's Tangible/Intangible Gay Boyfriend can't permeate through Barry's body! Supertwink's Tangible/Intangible Gay Boyfriend is defeated! Superboy is traumatized from being used and molested! Bring him some whores to spite Hym! That'll make it all better!"
by Hym Iam March 11, 2023
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baby boyfriend

A boyfriend who confuses his girlfriend for his mummy.
“He’s acting like such a baby boyfriend.”
by Mayatrice June 3, 2022
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Boyfriend

1. a regular male companion with whom one has a romantic or sexual relationship
2. Someone who is subjected to giving all their shirts and sweaters to a female.
3. Someone who makes sandwiches for his girlfriend
I have dated my boyfriend for 25 years, the secret is bacon on my sandwiches
by Ghettocarebear December 11, 2018
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ex boyfriend

an ex boyfriend is someone you hang out with and get peer pressured to have sex with.

an ex boyfriend says I love you an texts you back later saying my bad it was just in the moment.

an ex boyfriend breaks up with you because you didn't want to give him head

an ex boyfriend gets what he deserves by smoking to much weed and getting erectile dysfunction now nobody want him.
my ex boyfriend is a cunt and a absolute dick
by r.i.v May 8, 2023
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National bully boyfriends day

On the 28 november

You get to bully your boyfriend or your bestfriends boyfriend
Girlfriend: guess what day it is

Boyfriend: oh no
Bestfriend: oh yes
Girlfriend: national bully boyfriends day!
by Dr. Dates November 25, 2021
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Boyfriend

According to my daughter he is the sweetest guy known to mankind.
to me...
He's my next target
Daughter: Daddy...
Dad: Yes sweety?
Daughter: I have a boyfriend
Dad: ...
Dad: Let me get my shotgun and we'll go visit him.
by READIT!!! March 3, 2018
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