Thick lard

A measuring unit to how fat and stupid someone is. Iq x100 = weight in tons
I.e iq=15 transponds to weight=1500 tons

Being defined as your a Thick Lard you fat animal

by KLOOBER KLATZ KLAAN November 15, 2016

Lard Tard

A fat, dumb chick who somehow gets herself into bad situations with guys she thought she could trust

I wanted to go up to her, but when I came up close, she was a total Lard Tard

by Fijjuggsgjijhhyggggg-about it August 2, 2019

womb lard

The often creamy, white natural lubricant produced by a vagina during a fucking, finger blasting or general arousal.

a) 'oh shit bro, there's womb lard all over my shaft/hand/vase/t-shirt/shoe/table leg/Doberman'
b) 'it was womb lard for sure bro, I collected it and basted a turkey that same day'
c) 'fuck it was gross bro, womb lard everywhere; like a fucking butter massacre'

by fucktardtranslations May 20, 2020

lard stump

A huge fat ass turd.

I’ll call you back, I have to go take a lard stump.

by Rylerballz September 14, 2019

Lard-string

A string of lard; lazy; unmotivated; lifeless; careless; can be used in the same context as a couch potato.

"I just lay there like a lard-string."

by Shortcakems March 16, 2009

lard up

What fat Americans do in the nearest fast food restaurant.

- Hey Jenny, lets go lard up at KFC!

by Enclave Razorback June 1, 2016

Spunk-lard

Pre-coital lubricant of the anus made from the fatty deposits found in sperm. Method:
1) Collect ejaculated sperm whilst still warm
2) Bring to boil
3) Simmer whilst fatty deposits rise to top
4) Drain away liquid
5) Leave fatty residue to cool and congeal
6) Once congealed, sculpt into required shape (usually a cock-shape)
7) Apply to arsehole

Spunk-lard me up before butt-fucking me big boy!

by Lunatic Fringe September 4, 2008