Weekend alcoholic 

Someone that greets the weekend by constantly drinking excessive amounts of alcohol. Often times starting on Wednesday or Thursday, a weekend alcoholic will wake up each morning with the intent to get drunk before breakfast and stay drunk until passing out (commonly due to blacking out).

Regular drinker: "How was your weekend?"
Weekend alcoholic: "I dunno man, I was too much of a weekend alcoholic to remember anything after Wednesday."

Weekend alcoholic by MHinkle March 8, 2011

Functioning alcoholic 

When one can be drunk every night and still be completely function able the next day

Nate went out every night this week and got totally shit faced. He still got to work the next morning at 8... He's a functioning alcoholic

Functioning alcoholic by Tater tot 5190 June 30, 2014

Functional alcoholic 

Someone who can maintain an orderly, outward social appearance while their personal life has devolved into complete chaos due to over-drinking. Their friends and family are often impressed with their achievements, while the alcoholic knows that their drinking has lead to a full-blown loss of control and that it is just a matter of time until their behavior blows up in their face. In a bad way.

Emelio's friends/family: " Emelio is about to graduate med school. We are so proud. We only wish we could accomplish as much".

Emelio: "I am a functional alcoholic. Everyone I know thinks I'm doing great but in reality my brain has turned to slush. I can't believe I BS'd my way through med school and got a 3.8 GP because I don't remember any of it. I can't believe I'm almost 30 and have somehow avoided getting a DUI thus far. Everyone thinks I'm so great, but in reality, I'm totally fucking dangerous but I just haven't been caught yet. It's all catching up with me though. It's only a matter of time until I do something really stupid and everyone will realize what a fuck-up I truly am.

Functional alcoholic by ???s upon ???s September 1, 2016

Apologetic Alcoholic 

Someone who apologizes a lot after drinking a lot

When he drinks he is such an apologetic alcoholic.

Apologetic Alcoholic by Mmmmmmmoooooooo December 8, 2019

stand-in alcoholic 

When you can't attend/participate in (work) "functions" such as Happy Hour, client parties, the office holiday party, etc.

Melissa - "I'm too hung over to go to this wine tasting event tonight but the client expects someone from our office to be there."
Ann Marie - "Do you need me to be your stand-in alcoholic?"
Melissa - "WOULD YOU?! That would be such a big help."

Anna - "I already went to 3 parties this week! I can't go to anymore. I need to give my liver a rest. Do you want to be my stand-in alcoholic? There should be some cute guys there."
Ann Marie - "Sure!"

stand-in alcoholic by AMarie0908 December 4, 2010

High functioning alcoholic 

An excuse term alcoholics use to justify their continued self-destruction.

Joe: "Wow, James is drinking and it's only 7 AM."
Mike: "He's a high functioning alcoholic. He says he needs it to function."
Joe: "So he's a severe alcoholic who needs help then."

High functioning alcoholic by Super Thicc November 22, 2020