Canada's History

A "Canada's History" is a slang term in the American English language used to describe an act of a sexual nature which is regarded by many to be one of the most vile sexual acts in the history of sexydom. To "Canada's History" someone, one must first acquire a fire extinguisher. The fire extinguisher must then be carefully inserted in to an acceptable orifice of a clown using applicable lubricants. The clown must then be carefully lowered in to the major orifice of a large mammalian animal of adequate scale. Any mammal will do, but it must be a warm-blooded animal at the very least or else the clown will run the risk of hypothermia. This act, when successfully completed, is not unlike a turducken of the culinary world, but should never be confused with "blowing up a turd locker," which is a much different act all together, if not similar in execution.
That clown got the Canada's History all the way in to the bowels of that walrus!

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Last night, Ann Coulter took the Canada's History all the way (fictional Ann Coulter).
by KINGOFTHEINTERNET February 05, 2010
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Canada's History

Verb

1. Inserting your penis and scrotal sack into a woman or man's anus while gargling maple syrup. Meanwhile using your right hand to masturbate your partner and your left hand to pleasure your anus with moose antlers
Dude: Look's like you had a rough night brah

Other Dude: Man you got no idea, someone gave me Canada's History last night, the whole enchilada.

Dude: Sounds boring brah

Other Dude: -_-
by Louis999 February 05, 2010
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Canada's History

Putting everything in there is the hardest part of performing Canada's History.
by skb89 February 05, 2010
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canada's history

The act of stabbing a grandma and fucking a horse. The grandma part is foreplay.
Yo, last night I was involved in an hour long hands-on lecture on Canada's history. Awesome?
by thx11ait February 05, 2010
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Canada's History

A sexual act. Canada is referred to as "America's Fuzzy Hat." You give your girlfriend a "fuzzy hat" by having ten of your friends masturbate on her hair, and then you "smuggle drugs back across the border" by having anal sex with her, and then drugging her with morphine. You finish the act by putting a Canadian and an American dollar in her anus and leaving it there.
Dude, I totally did Canada's History with my girlfriend last night. It was wild.
by yesplz4930843980 February 05, 2010
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Canada's history

A sex act in which a jug of maple syrup is inserted into the woman's vagina and/or man's ass with the jug opening sticking out. The partner with the jug then squats over the other partner while maple syrup drips out, covering the other partner. The partner covered in syrup then fucks a beaver (if the woman is covered in syrup, a strap-on dildo is used). Then sticky, sweet, chaos ensues between the two and the beaver.
The apartment was a sticky wreck after the Canada's History from the night before. The dining room table was also missing one of its wooden legs.
by Hippopotannonymous February 05, 2010
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Canada's History

Canada's History is a sex act in which a live moose is hunted down with the aid of Sarah Palin (a master tracker and rogue) and viciously murdered by decapitation with a jagged hockey stick. After defiling the moose head further by teabagging the head several times (and not with Early Grey, but your genitals), it is ready for sex. The antlers are rammed up the anus of the female while Grade A Canadian maple syrup is slathered over the balls of the man who is simultaneously stuffing the moose's mouth with his shaft. Meanwhile, Sarah Palin hardly wants to miss out on the action so she goes rogue by jamming the other side of the antlers (opposite end is butt spelunking the female) up her vagina far enough to perform a self-abortion on her unwanted baby. After everyone has finished and Palin has enlarged her vaginal orifice another 2 inches, the moose head is discarded in a finely polished Stanley Cup. It is then sent to the home of Stephen Colbert for tedious inspection to make sure that every moose head was used to its fullest extent. Stephen does not accept the moose head in anything but the Stanley Cup as it is the only vessel prestigious enough for his liking. As a health advisory, it is generally necessary to check up with your doctor before performing Canada's History with your partner as it can lead to serious diseases such as severe diarrhea, Colbertitis, mad moose disease, and a neurological disorder known as The Palins which generally leads to mental retardation.
-Canadian Tool 1: "Dude me and my girl did a raw Canada's History last night."
-Canadian Tool 2: "Nice bro, that Sarah Palin is a freak, eh?"
-Canadian Tool 1: "FUCK YEH! SHES THE NASTIEST SHETARD IN THE WORLD!"
-Canadian Tool 2: "Hell yeh, shes fucking hot."
-Canadian Tool 1: "Obvi bro... Obvi."
by SarahPalinMadeCaribouExtinct February 24, 2010
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