Chinese Butthole Trap

Tension has been building since your entrance of the doctor's office. You flinch as you ever so gently sit down on the parchment paper lined examination bed. You start having flash backs; a urologist and his handful of students fondling your sugarlumps in turn. Erection during an STD swab. Terrible fellatio. You could hear him/hopefully her walk ever closer to your soon-to-be victimized anal cavity. You surpass the inevitable paperwork foreplay--and amidst the unspoken and insurmountable hostility, your doctor completely submerges his/hopefully her finger into your butthole. That is your queue. You squeeze tighter than you ever have before. Tighter than the time you watched Edward Norton get sodomized in American History X. You don't cease the sphincter constrictor until the medical examiner has agreed to write you off as never needing another colonoscopy.

If your doctor fails to comply with the set terms, it may be appropriate to pull out the big guns. You tell the medic that there is a tape recorder set in the cabinet on the other side of the room; however, you both must trek over to the cabinet, as one, in fear of him/her losing a finger. Inside the doctor will find a recorder with a short synopsis of their medical career, and how much he has done with that index finger. Just when it starts to sound optimistic, it digresses to how he could potentially lose it. All of which is presented with the mood set by another tape recorder looping the Saw theme.

I wanted to be a doctor when I was little. Then I heard about the Chinese Butthole Trap.

by Jenkemberry Fields Forever June 13, 2010

butthole snipe

to snatch persons anal hair, to pull out the hair around someones butthole

He stole my favorite hat, so later that day i butthole sniped him.

by Daniel Crowe February 27, 2007

Butthole Buffet

An event in which three or more buttholes of all shapes and sizes are readily available for the insertion of ones finger in order to taste and review said butthole. Similar to a wine tasting, the taster is to insert his or her finger to the first knuckle, rotate the finger clockwise 180 degrees and remove. The taster now has what is known as a "poop finger". Hints of dinner and notes of the butthole owners overall health and diet should be noted and discussed. Next, place the poop finger inside your mouth and leave it on your tounge one second for every 10 years the butthole has aged. Exhale and enjoy.

Last nights butthole buffet was great! They brought in that elderly Korean man with the heavy curry diet, a newbie butthole from Ireland, a donkey from Central America, and a Thia ladyboy hooker. I used the same finger 3 times in a row and made a butthole suicide. It was by far most diverse buffet to date

by Blank thoughts November 9, 2012

Blue Butthole

An alcoholic beverage consisting of blueberry infused gin and club soda. It is sometimes garnished with frozen blueberries.

"I'll have a Blue Butthole with a dick on the side."

"I had one too many Blue Buttholes last night."

by Zachary Utz April 13, 2007

Color Match Your Butthole

When getting the right nude lipstick color make it match the color of your butthole.

Girl 1: Hey what nude color lipstick should i get?
William: Color match your butthole
Girl 1: PERFECT

by Bootifuk February 17, 2015

butthole drums

The slapping, whether by accident or design, of any part of the male genitalia on the anus during sexual relations.

1. Yeah, I played the butthole drums on my ol' lady last night, just so's she'd know what was coming.(indicative of anal intercourse)
2. I played the butthole drums with my nutsack last night. (As in the missionary position)

by Ken Wheeler April 14, 2009

non binary butthole

the butthole of a binary person

Phil gets more non binary butthole than a unisex toilet seat

by BoyScoutsOfAmerica October 4, 2022