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Texas Wet Wipe

Using one’s own sock or socks to wash and wipe the asshole after dropping a horrifically mud butt style shit or accidentally shitting oneself and there is no toilet paper or other tissue.

A Texas wet wipe is used out of absolute necessity and desperation.

The sock or socks are removed and are made thoroughly wet and moist in the sink (if available) and the ass is cleansed accordingly. The socks must always be disposed of or better yet, just left behind on the floor. Never flushed.
After spending the entire day drinking beer and eating hot wings, I headed home. After about a mile, I felt the gut bubblies. Hoping to release some pressure, I unloaded what I thought was a massive fart but ended up shitting my pants. I spotted a gas station on the corner and quickly headed to the shitter. I waddled to the door praying the steamy, oozing, wet lump would not slide any further down my leg. I made it to the stall only to find there was no toilet paper or paper towels. I slipped off both socks knowing a Texas wet wipe was my only alternative. I moistened them in the sink and then I slid the cold, wet socks up and down my ass crack like dental floss cleaning what had to look like the field at a tractor pull and a rooster’s tail when it came out. I got it as clean as I could get it and at least enough to not itch too much before I got home, I tossed my socks in the corner and slipped my boots back on and headed on my way.
by Dick Onchin November 3, 2020
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Texas Wet Wipe

Using one’s own sock or socks to wash and wipe the asshole after dropping a horrifically mud butt style shit or accidentally shitting oneself and there is no toilet paper or other tissue.

A Texas wet wipe is used out of absolute necessity and desperation.

The sock or socks are removed and are made thoroughly wet and moist in the sink (if available) and the ass is cleansed accordingly. The socks must always be disposed of or better yet, just left behind on the floor. Never flushed.
After spending the entire day drinking beer and eating hot wings, I headed home. After about a mile, I felt the gut bubblies. Hoping to release some pressure, I unloaded what I thought was a massive fart but ended up shitting my pants. I spotted a gas station on the corner and quickly headed to the shitter. I waddled to the door praying the steamy, oozing, wet lump would not slide any further down my leg. I made it to the stall only to find there was no toilet paper or paper towels. I slipped off both socks knowing a Texas wet wipe was my only alternative. I moistened them in the sink and then I slid the cold, wet socks up and down my ass crack like dental floss cleaning what had to look like the field at a tractor pull and a rooster’s tail when it came out. I got it as clean as I could get it and at least enough to not itch too much before I got home, I tossed my socks in the corner and slipped my boots back on and headed on my way.
by Dick Onchin November 3, 2020
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texas bear paw

When a man with overtly large hands performs a hand job on another man without his permission
Chuck was so horny, he grabbed Cory and gave him the Texas Bear Paw hoping for a little action
by BigjohnDezenuts October 24, 2017
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sour lake texas

small ass town. there isn't actually a lake. full of the real deal pipeliners, big trucks, and drugs. if one person know you're secret the whole town knows and your brother is sleeping with your best friend while she's sleeping with your boyfriend
P1:"hey man, I'm going to sour lake Texas to pick up some drugs and hoes you comin'?"

P2:"sure man, let me get off the pipeline and drive my big truck up there'"
by bigtrucksandhoes February 18, 2018
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Texas Sex Rock

A rock, preferably with a reddish color, that gives off a white residue when it is handled.
When one person would like to have coitus with another, they could give that person a Texas Sex Rock. The gift would serve as the question, "Would you like to have sex with me?" The answer would be determined by the acceptance or rejection of the rock as a gift.
J: "Would you like this Texas Sex Rock?"
C: "Yes, give it to me!"
by Red Headed Devil May 25, 2016
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texas full nelson

A variation of the full-nelson wherein enough pressure is placed on the back of the captive person's head so that they are bent over at the waist and then violently dry humped.
Even if he wanted to, Barry couldnt escape Ryan's texas full nelson
by User202 January 11, 2017
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Texas Place Mat

Using your girl’s panties as a wet spot barrier between her ass and your expensive bed sheets.

The panties are removed in anticipation of oral sex or coitus then spread smoothly under her ass like a place mat to catch her wetness, squirt and eventually your busted nut that leaks down the taint.
Thanks to the Texas place mat, I was able to have a nice dry post nut nap.
by Dick Onchin December 2, 2020
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