Five-dollar Footlong

An "offer" introduced in the preceding months by those fools at Subway, a US submarine sanswich franchise.To be quite honest, this is one of the most insipid names for a deal that any marketing department has ever created. I'm sorry, but what the fucking hell is this shit? A five-dollar footlong? Are you motherfucking kiding me? Any fifth-grader can realize that "five-dollar footlong" sounds like an offer to take a pecker for five dollars. What the hell is this shit? A five-dollar footlong? Are you going to ask me if I want some mayonaise on that shit? Old bitch-ass motherfuckers. This is just destined to create misunderstanding, as follows:

Anonymous Agent #1: Hey man, I'm hungry as a motherfucker. You wanna get something to eat?
Anonymous Agent #2: You could go to Subway and get a five-dollar footlong.
Anonymous Agent #1: What are you saying about me, son? You saying I like dick?
Anonymous Agent #2: (Confused) What? Nah, man, I'm just saying that Subway has a 12" sandwich for only $5.
Anonymous Agent #1: Fuck you, man. I don't take no shit. (pulls a nine)
Anonymous Agent #2: What the fuck, man?! Why you pullin' the gat?
Anonymous Agent #1: And this is for that "double-whopper" jive you were pulling of me last week, you punk bitch. (Shoots Anonymous Agent #2)
Anonymous Agent #2: (Crying) What the fuck, man? I was just trying to help, son...
Anonymous Agent #1: That's right, cry like the little bitch that you are...
Anonymous Agent #2: WHY SUBWAY?! WHY...?!

Conclusion: Subway ruins lives.

Thank you for your time.

by MuigiKalash January 29, 2009

five toed sloth

Somebody who is incredibly lazy, always late, doesn't like to move, or is just slow in general.

it originates from the animals, the two-toed and three-toed sloths.

"'shit dude, Jed said he'd be here three hours ago, do you think he's ok?'

'man, he's fine, he's always late; he's like a fuckin' five toed sloth or something'"

by fivetoedsloth October 5, 2009

un high five

works exactly like a high five but backwards(hands start together and move apart, making absolutly no noise). most appropriately used when someone says something omega lame shortly after giving them a high five
also to be used after giving a terribly limp high five

created by: connor and alex while standing in line at knotts berry farm

*hands clap in high fiving effort*
alex: that was complete crap we need to un high five and do it again.
connor: agreed

lucky: i love you alyssa
alyssa: i love you too
*alyssa and lucky high five*
lucky: that girl is hot!!
alyssa (crying): the only way i can feel better is if you un high five me

by Alias4557 August 20, 2007

five toed sloth

Someone who is exceptional slow. Especially when running or in hand-eye coordination.

"Jack's a good athelete."
"Yeah, he's coordinated, but he's so slow he looks like a five toed sloth."

by Legbah February 4, 2008

Five Mule Kart

a girls ass so big it would take 5 mules to pull it.

Check out that girl over there, thats a five mule kart.
Katie has a five mule kart.

by Five Mule Kart Krew January 14, 2008

Texas five minutes

A period of waiting for something to occur that is significantly longer than that which was promised.

"The meeting was supposed to start at 3:00, but I keep getting the Texas five minutes from the receptionist".

by larrydart January 30, 2009

Five gay guys

One Direction

Hey, did you hear that new song by those five gay guys?

by CarcinoGenisist March 10, 2016