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Hank Boontz

The largest lumberjack, this side of the Mississippi. He can wrestle 3 bears with one hand behind is back.

Hank hasn't spoken to his children in over 15 years. He doesn't pay child support.

Hank lives in a cabin in North Minnesota, where he lives with four squirrels. There were originally 5, but there was a fatality, during a thumb wrestling match. Rest In Peace, poor Billy.

Hank has a robust collection of flannel shirts. Used to model for Black and Decker.

Member of the Dean Koontz Family Tree.
Squirrel 1: Hank Boontz, don't do it!

Hank: He shouldn't of disrespected me.

Squirrel 2: Hank, I don't think he knew that was your wife's closet.

Squirrel 5: I'm sorry! I won't do it again!

Hank: Challenge me to a thumb wrestling match for your life.

Splonald, from out of the corner: Did you guys remember to pick up cheese?

Squirrel 4: Yea, I got it.

Splonald: Thanks. *relinquishes back to the corner*

Squirrel 5: Tell your wife those acorns aren't for her. And those were the only nuts I was talking about busting in your wife's closet.

Hank after landing the final blow on Squirrel 5: Well shit, this is awkward.

Squirrel 3: THAT'S A LOT OF NUTS!
by Hank Boontz May 4, 2021
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Mrs.Boone

Mjhs teacher who does not let you do anything
I have to go to Mrs.Boone’s class ☹️
by Daddy take of the rubber October 7, 2021
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Related Words
Boons boone boondoggle boonies Booner boonie Boonk boonk gang boondocks boong

Quinn Boone

A man who makes bad jokes and isn’t funny
He’s such a Quinn Boone, not funny at all
by quinnboonesux March 18, 2022
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Fucken Boone

The homie that invite everyone over to kick it on a Friday night but then goes to sleep and doesn't answer yo calls!
Yo G, you should come over! Fam is coming at 7:00 and Bobby at 8........... At 6:30 when you call, Fucken Boone don't answer the chat. You show up at 7:30 and all the lights are off and the door is locked!
by YaHomieG April 17, 2022
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The boonies

Wow Alex and Jess really live in the boonies? Yea! All the way in East sac.
by BxBaddies June 3, 2022
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miss boongie

Miss Boongie will be forever tumblr user hobis-suga
miss boongie is the prettiest and bestest gifmaker
by dyoonpling July 30, 2022
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Benson Boone Day

At the 25th of June it is Benson's birthday! Its then officially benson boone day

An artist who grew really fast in a short time with a loving fanbase
"Do u know which day it is today?"
"No?"
"No?!, it is Benson Boone day!"
"Is it?"
"Yep i already wished him a happy birthday"
by Ur mf mom August 5, 2022
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