happiness hedge

When a fan places a wager against their favorite team in a game or other event. This causes a win/win situation for the fan. Either the fan’s favorite team wins or the fan win their bet.

James: I bet on the Nuggets to lose.

Jake: but aren’t you a fan of the Nuggets?

James: yes, but if they lose, I want to at least get paid.

Jake: ahh, the old happiness hedge

Kyle: true dat

by cupofjuice93 May 23, 2023

lady hedge

Pubic hair as an alternative to lady garden

Christ your lady hedge needs a trim its blocking the old jade gate!

by Major Noshheroff October 14, 2019

Over the Hedge

The failure of hedging results in completion.

"My hedge sesh went too far last night and I went over the hedge"

by jelkinboy584 February 24, 2022

Trevor Hedge

Total Douchebag

Don't be such a Trevor Hedge

by Trevor Hedge July 8, 2017

hedge fund

Not to be confused with grass money, this term refers to a separate financial account that a homeowner maintains to cover the costs of products/services to keep his shrubbery tidy and healthy.

Burglars tend to target properties with tall/dense shrubbery that they can crouch behind and hide, so you should always keep a healthy hedge fund to ensure that your bushes stay trimmed and transparent.

by QuacksO May 7, 2018

hedge apples

Super tiny balls; a small scrotum.

Our left back has the smallest hedge apples on the pitch.

by MeltdMushroom October 6, 2019

Hedging

For those that have fallen out with Banking, Hedging relates to rolling your poo up in toilet roll and putting it in a hedge where nobody will find it. You then return to pick it up before you get on a train and leave it under the chairs in first class where nobody will see it.

I've just sold my Hedging Media to Gary Lineker for a fortune for him to use against the Shat on Pitch Quantity Psychs.

by MichelleBlack314 August 15, 2023