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Douche Canoe

A sad or pathetic gentlemen who opens his mouth wide as his woman douches her vagina and he catches it in his mouth. A terrible person. A sad excuse for a man
That guy is being a total douche canoe because he got fired for always being late
by Bornsooner May 11, 2024
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Douche Canoe

Douche Canoe (noun): A self-absorbed, obnoxious individual who drifts through life on a raft of arrogance, bad takes, and an utter lack of self-awareness. Often mistaken for a human, but upon closer inspection, closely resembles a sentient, poorly groomed toe with an attitude problem because he likely sat on a pinecone.
Example: Kyle, the human embodiment of a stubbed toe, leaned back in his chair, manspreading like he was claiming land, and loudly explaining why everyone else was wrong about literally everything. Between flexing his "elite genetics" (despite looking like a swollen big toe) and hitting on anything that moved, he remained blissfully unaware that the entire room was desperately hoping for a strong gust of wind to carry his douche canoe far, far away.
by Sassenach March 14, 2025
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Douche canoe

An arrogant ignorant individual that is causing the rest of the world as much pain as possible somebody who’s over the top worse than it a regular douche bag he’s the douche of all douche someone think they’re entitled arrogant selfish
You’re sure a huge douche canoe a flop, woman abuser, narcissistic, asshole that feels entitled feels like you don’t have to work. You can just mooch off of everybody piece of shit. Father doesn’t take care of any responsibilities and bitches and complains about everything that’s not given to them, arrogant useless heartless, and the only thing that they have going for them is their sexual attachment that their parents gave them a person that gets their dick from their mom and not their dad.

Man Ricky, why do you gotta be such a douche canoe?
by Dick Michael Miller March 27, 2025
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Douche Canoe

A person, usually male, who you wish would row, row, row the fuck away from you.
OMG he is being so obnoxious for no reason, like first he is all nice and I think we will be friends, but now he is just being a douche canoe.
by adidasDUDE August 30, 2025
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Douche Canoe

A douche in a canoe ...
An asshole (mainly Men!)
Stop being such a fucking douche canoe 🛶

You're such a douche canoe!

You're the Biggest Douche in the littlest canoe!!
by ziacs January 31, 2026
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Ska douche canoe

Duh, bye ;like hello, is anybody home?Notifying the individual expressing verbage that your done, but trying to be abruptly absent. Gots to go. Tata for now.
Don’t ever contact me again. Speaking to someone who said something that was life threatening or unlogical, suggesting harm or dumb shit. And your opting out.
Guy: so are you looking for someone who actually is into responsibilities?
Chick: ska douche canoe

Guy #1: why don’t we hangout in the ice fishing spot, probably the tempature huh?
Guy #2: ska douche canoe
by DaughterofGod March 14, 2020
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Dick douche canoe

Karen was being a dick douche canoe and driving in the left lane.
by Willie June 11, 2021
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