When you need a shit so bad,it needs complete lonesome to let loose the beast, then someone walks in, causing it to be sucked back in like e g g
by WrittenToe79 June 21, 2022
Get the Turd Burglarmug. A Turd burglar is a mythical being that takes your turds (aka poop) from your toilet at night when everyone is asleep, similar to the tooth fairy legend.
Little boy: Mommy when will the turd burglar come?
Mother: oh honey the turd burglar only comes at night when your asleep.
Mother: oh honey the turd burglar only comes at night when your asleep.
by BeeftGunkle June 20, 2023
Get the Turd burglarmug. Someone who simply steals your poop. You could be taking a nice dump, not knowing what’s hiding in your shower, or under your sink… as soon as you stand up from the toilet and turn away for a second… your turd will be gone because the turd burglar took it. You will not catch them… nor see them.. unless they’re over 34 years of age. They are either assigned to a person at the age of 6, or placed into a house when built, and will steal everyone’s turds that ever lives there.
Frank - “Yo… I just took a shit, and when I turned around to flush… it wasn’t there”
Marlo- “oh, it was probably the turd burglar
Marlo- “oh, it was probably the turd burglar
by Stinkletoot May 26, 2024
Get the turd burglarmug. A person who inserts other people's feces inside his/hers own rectum in an effort to obtain any nutrients that could remain.
by NotTimothyDalton October 19, 2016
Get the Turd Burglarmug. This type of turd burglar is the type that happends in nursing homes. When a resident lets everything come out right in the eating area, in front of everyone and not caring about other people eating or Anything and after they finish thier business they just walk away.....
Turd Burglar: oops I have to use the bathroom...
Nurse: No wait ill take you to the bathroom
Turd Burglar: no im going right here right now
Nurse: No wait ill take you to the bathroom
Turd Burglar: no im going right here right now
by FUNTIME! October 23, 2019
Get the Turd Burglarmug. A person who anally fists another, grabbing the feces inside the anal cavity. The fister then removes the contents of the anus and proceeds to Waluigi-run away from the crime scene (usually while also maniacally laughing). This is a very real and lucrative crime. On average a turd burglary occurs at least once every hour.
911 Operator: “911, what’s your emergency?”
Victim: “I need to report a burglary.”
911 Operator: “what was stolen.”
Victim: “I’d prefer not to say. Please send an officer quick! The turd burglar is getting away!”
Victim: “I need to report a burglary.”
911 Operator: “what was stolen.”
Victim: “I’d prefer not to say. Please send an officer quick! The turd burglar is getting away!”
by Definitely *NOT a Turd Burglar May 30, 2022
Get the Turd Burglarmug. "Baxter!...quit being a turd burglar and leave them rabbit turds alone. You better give mama kisses first with that breath!" 🤭
by YOU DONT SAY June 27, 2025
Get the Turd burglarmug.