Turd Burglar

Someone who steals your shit to make themselves look better to others.

Jim: "Jesus Dan. Did John just take your iPhone to show to his girlfriend?"

Dan: "Yea. He's a turd burglar."

by A Time Walker September 3, 2013

Turd Burglar

This type of turd burglar is the type that happends in nursing homes. When a resident lets everything come out right in the eating area, in front of everyone and not caring about other people eating or Anything and after they finish thier business they just walk away.....

Turd Burglar: oops I have to use the bathroom...
Nurse: No wait ill take you to the bathroom
Turd Burglar: no im going right here right now

by FUNTIME! October 23, 2019

Turd Burglar

A person who anally fists another, grabbing the feces inside the anal cavity. The fister then removes the contents of the anus and proceeds to Waluigi-run away from the crime scene (usually while also maniacally laughing). This is a very real and lucrative crime. On average a turd burglary occurs at least once every hour.

911 Operator: “911, what’s your emergency?”
Victim: “I need to report a burglary.”
911 Operator: “what was stolen.”
Victim: “I’d prefer not to say. Please send an officer quick! The turd burglar is getting away!”

by Definitely *NOT a Turd Burglar May 30, 2022

turd burglar

a funny insult which could be used when someone is/was being a dick, usually in a non-serious manner (also see turgle for further details).

mike: *steals jenny's phone*
jenny: give it back you turd burglar

by eminemanemone December 13, 2018

Turd Burglar

A person who inserts other people's feces inside his/hers own rectum in an effort to obtain any nutrients that could remain.

Put that poop stick down you turd burglar, those are my Nutrients !

by NotTimothyDalton October 19, 2016

Turd burglar

Portable restroom technician.

Hey Roy! The toilet is full in the port a pot, think you can wave down the turd burglars when they drive by to empty it for us?

by Motosaki410 June 5, 2019

Turd burglar

Its an old superstition about A sneaky lil midget bandit theif in the night that climbs in your bathroom window and burgles the turd right out the bowl that more than likely are there because you got shit faced and forgot to flush or your dirty lazy kids left the bowl present for the turd bandit. Because the story goes.... Feed the turd burglar once a week and you will never get a stomach. Keep that gut flora happy ... Feed the turd burglars.

"Tiny tim dont flush that shit you know you got to leave that for the turd burglar tonight or you will end up with a belly ache

by Ghostbuster2000 February 8, 2021