selective reading

When you have no intention of reading someone's bullshit. So you scan read and only pick out what is relevant to you.

JamsBeam: "I'm going to write a name with my right hand and I'll eat a chip with my left hand"
Me:"are you having a Ketos session Bro?"
JamsBeam:"How does your mind completely erase the word write and replace it with masturbating?"
Me:"it's called selective reading"

by GbAbE September 9, 2018

Selective Jewdaism

choosing what parts of the Jewish faith fits you and practicing what you like best

He practices Selective Jewdaism, he's a shomer shabbos - doesnt drive on the shabbos but talks on the phone, doesn't use the computer but watches TV, doesn't mix meat and dairy but won't wait 3 hours for desert.

by Rabi BigK November 18, 2009

Selectively lazy

A selectively lazy person is one who has large aspirations in life, but these aspirations are never realized due to minor inconveniences the person is not willing to willing to work passed.

Person 1: "my phone is about to die, but I need to keep working on my aeronautical engineering homework!"
Person 2: "go grap your charger!"
Person 1: "but my charger is down stairs!"
Person 2: "god, you're so selectively lazy."

by StayFocused September 1, 2017

Selective Tagging

When somebody uploads a group picture on Facebook, and doesn't tag the people they don't like.

Dang man, I was hoping she'd tag me in the picture... she tagged all the cool people though. Guess she did some selective tagging

by psuzeppelin5 October 22, 2011

Selective Autism

Selective Autism is the act of choosing to ignore sarcasm and nuance for the sole purpose of feigning outrage.

Social Justice Warrior: I have a friend who babysits for a couple with an autistic kid, and I find your use of the term "Selective Autism" to be very insensitive.

by FrogLegStew May 1, 2019

Selective Usage

An object that only works when it wants to work

My Juul has selective usage man, it's old and I totally need to buy a new one.

by RainStick June 8, 2019

natural selection

when an event occurs naturally, especially involving animals

John: I hit and killed a deer today.
Paul: I think that's illegal.
John: How? Isn't it natural selection anyway? I naturally hit it?

by WiseElf October 12, 2015