Scientology, Church of

A dangerous and large organization claiming to be devoted to the practice of the new age religion, Scientology. The church was founded by science fiction writer Lafayette Ronald Hubbard as a method of quickly attaining massive amounts of wealth through "self-help" book sales such as 'Dianetics', and fees for providing "auditing" courses to remove "engrams"-the thousands of restless alien spirits that cause all the strive on Earth. In reality, this auditing appears to be methods of indoctrinating sessions of hypnosis, often proclaimed brainwashing by critics(though not completely without justification as behavioral modification techniques are known to be present)

Currently the Church is headed by David Miscavige and keeps a headquarters, the Church of Scientology International, in Los Angeles, California.

It is infamous for it's controversial actions, some of which are:

•The Fair Game policy, a highly aggressive policy of the church which allows members to take whatever actions necessary to silence any and all critics(dubbed Suppressive Persons) of the church and its practices. This is commonly implemented utilizing the legal system to harass individuals into submission with barrages of frivolous lawsuits, false criminal charges, and any other means to demoralize the potential source of bad PR.

•Numerous deaths related to the Church and its practices;
Cases of suicidal depression, criminal neglect such as the case of Lisa McPherson, and countless mysterious deaths that point to the church have been recorded. A full list of Scientology related deaths can be seen at http://www.whyaretheydead.net/

•Disconnection, a type of religious shunning in which a scientologist is required to break all ties and communication with friends and family members that are possibly harmful to the PR of the church.

•The extreme opposition to psychiatry, sometimes to the point of denying members of gravely needed mental help.

So I talked to this guy that said he was member of scientology, he said that maybe my leukemia was all in my head. That Scientology could cure me of what is really just a psychosomatic disorder. How come doctors let people die when Scientology, Church of, is there to help?

by Arbiter117 April 28, 2009

scientology salesman

The guy who repeatedly calls and emails you to come to Dianetics office to take a personality test. Really, it's just another way to convince you to buy more scientology crap.

Jon: "I honestly don't want to be a scientologist."

Greg: "Ha, HA, HA, ha...I knew you would say that.That's why I want you to purchase this workbook from Ron, it explains exactly how you are feeling right now."

Jon: "Tom Cruise is gay."

Greg: "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

Jon: "Ha, got rid of that scientology salesman."

by jvarna5 February 1, 2008

scientology rpf

A godawful place. The leaders of scientology claim to help you become a better, happier person, and rehablitate you, and a whole load of utter b.s. RPF is where you get sent if you disobey. You have to wear black boiler suits, no matter the weather, do degrading, physically demanding jobs and go through 'auditing'. You are allowed barely any sleep, and in bug infested beds. You have only thirty seconds to shower. They try to break you spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically, to do do whatever the hell they say. I pity the people who are scientoligists. They have been completley brainwashed. In rpf, if you do not get "rehabilitated", it gets worse. You might have to do it for years. You are not allowed to leave. There have been cases where people had not been allowed to see their familys at all. In RPF, you cannot have magazines, tvs, phones, newspaper, etc. Scientology is a cult and uttter bull, and the people running it are dispicable, horrible excuses for anything even remotely resembling anything humane.

Jack: Hey, remeber Jim from college? What happened to him? You guys are friends.
Arnold: Dude, he joined scientology. I have not heard from him in years. I think he really believes all that stuff about aliens and all. I think he might be be in scientology rpf.
Jack: NO!!!! People in that have died from exhaustion. WHY??!!
Arnold: I dont know, Dude, I dont know.

by onyx1 September 24, 2010

Scientology, Church of

a religious-scientific organization and church using an L. Ron Hubbard, multi-discipline approach to understanding and improving human behavior and group activities. It includes,
~ Dianetics, see Dianetics - the Modern Science of Mental Health, a non-spiritual approach to mental improvement that does not include psych drugs, hypnosis, brainwashing, mental implants, shock treatments or any form of psych treatment;
~ an educational methoology, Study Technology, for easier, faster learning;
~ an organizational management technology for improving business performance, and
~ Scientology spiritual improvement technology for emotional and spiritual betterment in this life and beyond. Membership is open to anyone wishing to better conditions for themselves and others, and usually begins with introductory lectures and progresses through various levels of classes with everyday practical applications to reach a rational, clear-thinking, mental state called "Clear". Study beyond Clear results in a state of total spiritual freedom. Along the way one can expect an increase in personal abilities, including IQ, reaction time, getting more done in less time, and freedom from excessive self-doubt.
__Study of Scientology is based upon one's own personal discovery, rather than the belief of Scientology principles; no one is asked to believe any of its principles without discovering for themselves that these principles are true, and do produce improvements, self-growth, and better relationships. Scientologists take pride in having personal freedom, sharing information, and thinking for themselves. One finds none of the flags that mark a clique, cult, or secret society.
__Since Scientology technologies are improvement technologies rather than belief methodologies, one notices both members of other religions, and people holding to no belief structure or system, studying and using some or all of the technologies of Scientology, without expectation or necessity of having membership in Scientology. One also finds members of other religions claiming dual participation or membership in both Scientology and some other religion.

After studying a book on the subject of ethics at SCIENTOLOGY, CHURCH OF one is better able to determine the best thing to do when faced with competing priorities.

by mark miglio January 14, 2009

Practicing Scientology

the act of smoking marijuana in an automobile while driving. derived from the term "cruise", which then led to "tom cruise", and eventually became "Practicing Scientology"

hey man, I got a philly, some weed, and a quarter tank of gas. wanna start practicing scientology?

by aanne June 22, 2010

church of scientology

A corporation masquerading as a religion and only succeeding as a cult; a major bringer of lulz unless they're killing off members of their congregation or disconnecting families. Lovers of free speech unless the free speech is being used against them, in which case they will stalk you and sue your ass faster than a fat kid pissed at McDonalds. Run by a midget who is BFF with Tom Cruise. Exists to give members of Chanology something to do other than sit around and fap all day. Their religion runs towards asking for moar monies and making fields of wildflowers for Tom Cruise to run through.

Also, they hate the gays.

The Church of Scientology defines scientology as "the study of truth." The rest of the world defines them as masters of the footbullet.

by PQ David May 22, 2008

[This comment is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Church of Scientology International]

Probably the only meme that got old the very first day it was released. It refers to Tom Cruise's crazy Scientology video that got removed from YouTube with the text "This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Church of Scientology International"

random dude: Tom Cruse sure is crazy eh?
noob: This comment is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Church of Scientology International
random dude: God damn, that meme got old yesterday

by Jason Brandt January 21, 2008