Quite possibly one of the greatest and most exclusive luxury cars of all time. If you want an eye-catching whip that sets you apart and ensures your ability to smoke nearly everyone else on the road, buy one. Coupes are the best for sporty fun, but imagine the look on the face of a Mitsubishi Evo driver when you blast his ass in a Quattroporte sedan. The extreme torque offered by Maserati yields incredible power straight off the line and translates to sustained acceleration throughout the 6 gear range. In a day when it seems that everyone owns a BMW, Mercedes, or other "luxury" car,
Maserati offers superior power and class. Nestled in the embrace of your Italian leather driver's seat, you can blow past any of these yuppiemobiles, as well as any rice burners "tricked out" with turkey launcher exhaust cans, turbos, superchargers, erector set style spoilers, or other homoerotic kits that make the car appear to go faster. As a responsible Maserati owner, it will be your task to put these swine in their place. While some newer Corvettes may be able to achieve a higher top speed, the chances of getting to such a speed during illegal street racing are quite low. Skillful manipulation of your transmission should allow you to smoke them instead. Ferrari cars, cousins of the Maserati, will most likely be able to beat you, but there are tradeoffs in everything. Maserati cars feature Ferrari transmissions and engines, however, after you get your ass handed to you by a Ferrari and you stop for fuel, ask the Ferrari driver how comfortable his ride is. He'll be the guy standing by the pump with the saddle sores from the shitty seat.
Maserati cars combine sport with luxury. These shits even have leather headliners. The entire interior is designed for comfortable, long range travel and beauty. Ferrari interiors are nothing if not spartan. The Maserati Coupe weighs in at around 4700 lbs. Heavy right? Nope. It's perfect. The wide tires, near-perfect front/rear weight distribution, wide stance, rear bumper spoiler, and the weight keep the car glued to the ground. Not many cars can take a 30mph corner at 80 without slipping. Not many cars can do 90 on the highway during a thunderstorm without hydroplaning.
The final delight is the price. For what you'd pay for one of those "other" luxury cars, you can have what is essentially a luxury Ferrari. Get you a Maserati!
Maserati offers superior power and class. Nestled in the embrace of your Italian leather driver's seat, you can blow past any of these yuppiemobiles, as well as any rice burners "tricked out" with turkey launcher exhaust cans, turbos, superchargers, erector set style spoilers, or other homoerotic kits that make the car appear to go faster. As a responsible Maserati owner, it will be your task to put these swine in their place. While some newer Corvettes may be able to achieve a higher top speed, the chances of getting to such a speed during illegal street racing are quite low. Skillful manipulation of your transmission should allow you to smoke them instead. Ferrari cars, cousins of the Maserati, will most likely be able to beat you, but there are tradeoffs in everything. Maserati cars feature Ferrari transmissions and engines, however, after you get your ass handed to you by a Ferrari and you stop for fuel, ask the Ferrari driver how comfortable his ride is. He'll be the guy standing by the pump with the saddle sores from the shitty seat.
Maserati cars combine sport with luxury. These shits even have leather headliners. The entire interior is designed for comfortable, long range travel and beauty. Ferrari interiors are nothing if not spartan. The Maserati Coupe weighs in at around 4700 lbs. Heavy right? Nope. It's perfect. The wide tires, near-perfect front/rear weight distribution, wide stance, rear bumper spoiler, and the weight keep the car glued to the ground. Not many cars can take a 30mph corner at 80 without slipping. Not many cars can do 90 on the highway during a thunderstorm without hydroplaning.
The final delight is the price. For what you'd pay for one of those "other" luxury cars, you can have what is essentially a luxury Ferrari. Get you a Maserati!
When I told that cop that I was only in 2nd gear when he pulled me over in my Maserati Coupe for doing 80 between traffic lights down town, he was so impressed he just gave me a warning.
Did you see that jackass in the Camaro try to play with me? Shit, after the first 10 seconds he couldn't even see the tail lights of my Maserati!
Ghost Riding a scraper or a donk is not impressive. Get a real whip like a Maserati and then we'll talk about Ghost Riding.
Did you see that jackass in the Camaro try to play with me? Shit, after the first 10 seconds he couldn't even see the tail lights of my Maserati!
Ghost Riding a scraper or a donk is not impressive. Get a real whip like a Maserati and then we'll talk about Ghost Riding.
by TaskForceMung March 15, 2008
Get the Maserati mug.Comparing your struggles to others who are complaining about their own issues. Popularly used to undermine the importance of someone’s struggle, or to make something miserable look like it is over exaggerated or weak for complaining.
"everyone wants to compete in the misery olympics"
If someone says, "This heat is killing me!" and someone responds, "This is nothing compared to my hometown.", then the second person is now competing in the misery olympics.
If someone says, "This heat is killing me!" and someone responds, "This is nothing compared to my hometown.", then the second person is now competing in the misery olympics.
by socialjake June 28, 2021
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Muser
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J-dog:Hey Patsy, How is it go REDDD THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MENN ing?
Patsy: You have a problem.
J-dog:I just love Les Mis SO MUCH!!!
Patsy: I would get that checked out. You might have les miseritis.
Patsy: You have a problem.
J-dog:I just love Les Mis SO MUCH!!!
Patsy: I would get that checked out. You might have les miseritis.
by Les Mis January 27, 2013
Get the les miseritis mug.The general evaluation of a person behavior who deliberately engages others in childish antics to upset the focus of others around in a serious situation or just to piss them off.
Sandra, please stop this Mickey Mousery in from of the TV this is a ChromeCast of a lecture I missed.
by princem February 16, 2019
Get the Mickey Mousery mug.You dirty bird! How could you! Misery chastain cannot be dead!!!!! I WANT MISERY! AND YOU MURDERED HER!!!!
by icu123fire February 11, 2009
Get the Misery mug.by katherine eats July 12, 2007
Get the Misericordiam mug.A individual who has severe western world misery. Usually failed in college and just tries to survive. For instance, working at the local post terminal or as a janitor at the hospital earning minimum wage.
The misery master dreams of a better life for himself that does include misery of any kind.
Not getting laid and growing old and disgusting does not concern the misery master since more pressing misery occupies his time.
The misery master dreams of a better life for himself that does include misery of any kind.
Not getting laid and growing old and disgusting does not concern the misery master since more pressing misery occupies his time.
Guy 1: Damn i am tired i worked 5pm to 5am and earn close to nothing wtf!?
Guy 2: Your such a misery master!
Guy 1: Damn I got to move in with my parents and I am 27!
Guy 2: Man your straight up misery master!
Guy 2: Your such a misery master!
Guy 1: Damn I got to move in with my parents and I am 27!
Guy 2: Man your straight up misery master!
by Krister & Joel May 15, 2009
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