spamming jesus

The act of sending large amounts of unsolicited mail to Jesus, in the form of prayer. The vast majority never gets past His most holy spam filter.

I can't believe I didn't get that iPod for my birthday, I was spamming Jesus for weeks.

by uday January 3, 2009

jesus tears

Eyedrops that give you a good ol fashioned cornea fucking. Usually used to get your eyes clear after some killer bud

AHH these fuckn jesus tears hurt so good

by max777 June 24, 2008

jesus abs

having perfectly sculpted abs that make any one jaw drob at the sight of the goodly gift

Shishoka: Matt what are yo...... (jaw falls to the floor)

Matt: oh hey babe just working on my JESUS ABS.

Shishoka: oglasoagla..............

by face cake December 30, 2011

Chocolate Jesus

A formed chocolate bar in the shape of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ

I gave that self rightious preachy fat bitch a chocolate Jesus for Christmas. She loved it and then ate Christ's head.

by [e-mail] December 24, 2004

Jesus Christ

An exclamation gemerally used to express anguish or dismay.

Jim: Some mo fo just keyed your ride dude !
Bob: JESUS CHRIST ! !

or

In poker your straight loses to a full house and you exclaim JESUS CHRIST ! !

by MDog221 July 15, 2006

pull a jesus

1. When someone accomplishes something in a way that seems miraculous.
2. When someone tries to resolve a disagreement using jesus or the bible to back him/her up.

1. They thought he died in that weird cloning experiment but he pulled a jesus.
2. He was really pissed, but then she tried to pull a jesus on him and made it even worse.

by SabMaster February 4, 2010

Golden Jesus

Pure pharmaceutical grade heroin (diacetylmorphine).

The term was first coined in the autobiographical book `Candy´ by Luke Davies (and subsequently the movie `Candy´ starring Heath Ledger and Abbie Cornish), when the character Casper (Geoffrey Rush) a lecturing chemist & sometime opiate user synthesizes his own `Golden Jesus´ (diacetylmorphine) from Panadine Forte.

by Chemgirl January 3, 2010