watering your grandma’s garden

A phrase used to give someone an excuse not to hangout because you are fucking someone

When you are having sex you’re watering your grandma’s garden

by Camryn and Conrad January 10, 2019

Devil’s Garden

Term used for a minefield.

Joe had his legs blow off when he accidentally walked into the Devil’s Garden.

by Literal Lucifer October 24, 2019

Retiring to the garden

Something a middle class English woman will say when about to go to the garden to smoke a cigarette.

M: Jimmy, darling, I'm retiring to the garden for a moment. Will you be joining me?

J: That would be marvelous, mother! Shall I put the kettle on?

by Flokiko August 4, 2020

Person who shits in gardens

Bearded Jesus looking type of gentleman who cannot control his bowel movements and thus deficates on people’s lawns like an annoying neighbours cat

Person who shits in gardens

by Dangermou5e October 15, 2020

pig in the garden

To immerse oneself in self satisfaction without another human being

This morning, I was like a pig in the garden, and made myself come six times with my own hand.

by anonymous November 14, 2020

L Ron Gardner

Excrement with a texture approximately of Type 6 on the Bristol Stool Scale: Fluffy pieces with ragged edges, a mushy stool.

I ate three Big Macs in a row, and within 45 minutes I had an explosive case of L Ron Gardner

by A Respected Authority November 22, 2020

Water my spice garden

masturbate

"I have to go water my spice garden."

by ChloroformSalesperson January 30, 2021