Jesus Patrol

A group of government agents who are in search for Jesus, with the aid of the sex detector gun.

The Jesus Patrol has yet to find the Jesus.

by Murderous Joe December 11, 2003

Jesus Freak

Off-set of Christianity which brings shame to real Christians. The emos of religion if you will.
Crazy people who take the already fucked up laws of Christinaity to the extreme. They like Hell Houses,throwing holy water all over the place and George Bush. Oh,and Mel Gibson.
Jesus Freaks fear/loathe two thing: Slayer and Bill Hicks.

The Jesus Freak took her nine year old to see The Passion Of The Christ,then later that day she went to a rally to get Brokeback Mountain banned from cinemas.

Me: "Hey,why did Jesus walk on water?"
JesusFreak: "Well-"
Me:"Everyone knows, SHIT FLOATS!"
Me ~runs like hell~

by bandanasarerad October 13, 2006

jesus abs

having perfectly sculpted abs that make any one jaw drob at the sight of the goodly gift

Shishoka: Matt what are yo...... (jaw falls to the floor)

Matt: oh hey babe just working on my JESUS ABS.

Shishoka: oglasoagla..............

by face cake December 30, 2011

spamming jesus

The act of sending large amounts of unsolicited mail to Jesus, in the form of prayer. The vast majority never gets past His most holy spam filter.

I can't believe I didn't get that iPod for my birthday, I was spamming Jesus for weeks.

by uday January 3, 2009

jesus tears

Eyedrops that give you a good ol fashioned cornea fucking. Usually used to get your eyes clear after some killer bud

AHH these fuckn jesus tears hurt so good

by max777 June 24, 2008

jesus-whore

a loose or promiscuous woman/or girl who still firmly believes in their religion.

person 1: "did you hear that she wouldn't take off her cross necklace when they were having sex?"

person 2: "ohmigod she's such a jesus-whore"

by leeeeeeluh September 12, 2007

Jesus Biscuit

Another name for the Christian Eucharist, the white wafer given out during Holy Communion

Ahh man those Jesus Biscuit taste like shit!

by Imaholyguy October 21, 2010