A masturbation session done when thinking about or looking at pictures of someone from your past. Could be an ex-girlfriend from a few years back, your high school geography teacher, or anyone you no longer interact with.
With no clubs open and no chances to meet new people, all James could do was knock out a few throwback wanks every night.
by J. Domain February 26, 2021
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Me: Please don’t have a professional wank over me
Me: Please don’t have a professional wank over me
by antlizard March 1, 2021
Get the professional wank mug.A beautiful omnipotent being who watches over the little people of the Earth, taking care of them and nurturing them until they're strong and big enough to watch his streams.
also hes ass at every game possible
also hes ass at every game possible
by Cops2 March 6, 2021
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Common sport amongst contractors working away from home. Of an evening, should they be feeling frisky and risky, they may strip off, carefully climb up on to the B&B’s sink rim, tiptoes on the unsupported edge. Whilst in this expert position he may decide to crab-wank one out whist his face/eye is pressed against the mirror, eyeballing himself until completion.
Common sport amongst contractors working away from home. Of an evening, should they be feeling frisky and risky, they may strip off, carefully climb up on to the B&B’s sink rim, tiptoes on the unsupported edge. Whilst in this expert position he may decide to crab-wank one out whist his face/eye is pressed against the mirror, eyeballing himself until completion.
Martin: How was your evening Andy?
Andy: Pretty tragic really.
Martin: But I thought you had your night planned? Kebab and a crab-wank you said??
Andy: The kebab was great and I was after a thrill before bed.
Martin: What’s tragic about that? Did you manage the expert?
Andy: Almost, but the sink came off the wall and I couldn’t finish.
Martin: Still, better than Steve last year, his sink shattered and cut his femoral artery.
Andy: Hummnn, I may go back to the floor for a bit…
Andy: Pretty tragic really.
Martin: But I thought you had your night planned? Kebab and a crab-wank you said??
Andy: The kebab was great and I was after a thrill before bed.
Martin: What’s tragic about that? Did you manage the expert?
Andy: Almost, but the sink came off the wall and I couldn’t finish.
Martin: Still, better than Steve last year, his sink shattered and cut his femoral artery.
Andy: Hummnn, I may go back to the floor for a bit…
by Goatboy Grasshead June 8, 2021
Get the Crab-Wank mug.by Eddie Brezz June 24, 2023
Get the Mossi Wank mug.Cracking one out over an image which serves as a proxy for an intended (but unattainable) object of desire.
See also 'substitute shuftie' and 'simulacral shuffle'.
See also 'substitute shuftie' and 'simulacral shuffle'.
Baron Von Trapp couldn't make use of the new governess upon her arrival and so popped to the local church confessional booth with an image of the Virgin Mary for an allegorical wank.
by Theilliterate June 28, 2023
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