phantom child

When someone has a child who they think is their (biological) own, but turns out, is someone else's

He swindles money from the IRS--when he goes to fill out his tax returns, he claims this phantom child as a dependent when he already took a paternity test and knows she's really somebody else's daughter.

by Aneemall September 22, 2017

Starter-Child

When a couple buys a pet dog together.

Adam and Sarah just bought the cutest starter-child from the dog shelter.

by ActuallyMike September 16, 2016

Stretched child

A teenager or adult that has such a strong baby face that they look like a kid in photographs from the neck up, but they are an average adult height or taller and may have adult body proportions. It is strong enough to cause the uncanny valley, especially if it’s a man with a beard.

Haley Joel Osment and Jojo Siwa are notorious stretched children.

by Dr. Sigh January 27, 2021

baby man child

It's a baby that looks like an old man. Or an adolescent male who attempts to act like he is grown but in turn appears even younger than he is.

Google Image "baby jesus baroque paintings" and you'll see

(ex. 1)
Ben: Did you see that baby over there? Totally looks like an old man!
Jerry: That's a baby man child!

(ex. 2)
Amy: That freshman over there thinks he's so cool, he's bragging about how many girls he got with last night.
Caleb: It makes him seem like he's still in middle school, such a baby.
Cara: That makes him a baby man child!

by your.hugh.jass September 26, 2013

Child

Tommyinnit.

Tommyinnit is a child.

by tommygobrrrrr May 18, 2021

child slave

child slavery is also known as school, should not be legal, it's often excused of being edecation, but it's far worse.

yo bro wanna come see my new child slave I just copped yesterday, it's down in my basement

by homoalphamale January 6, 2022

child

a child idiots

1 : have you seen my child joe?
2 : joe mama

by ME HAVE BIG ROBUX February 17, 2022